God is doing a work

**Editor's note***
I just found where I started a post on 5/29/08 that looks a lot like a recent one! LOL Decided to post it anyway.

So I looked back over the past month or so and all of my post seem sad. Let me assure you that I am not sad. God is doing a work....I'll write more on it...or maybe I won't...still processing and thinking. But I know that through every step of learning, going back to the basics, there is hope in Him, and that is everlasting!

Now for some random thot's......

So here is where I fell in love with the person that Chris Daughtry

I am afraid, that here is where I did a bit of cheating and fell in love with David Cook....and then continued on pretty much through the entire season...especially with this.

But neither one mind, they understand and I have made room for both in my heart.

Though never been one to not miss an episode of anything...I did not miss one episode of this year's Idol thanks to DVR. Congratulations David Cook!



I found out that a medication that is keeping me from having a stroke is what is causing the cough I thought was allergies. So I'll be weaning myself off of that...and onto something else.



This morning I woke up craving Mexican food....and God provided it for free! LOVE that!



Paddington is 5 months old and makes me laugh out loud daily. He has been asking to write a new blog so I may let him on the computer a bit later.

**RANT WARNING*** Just being real here

If you have read my blog for any amount of time you are well aware of my passion and deep love for Jesus Christ. My desire to know Him better and deeper and intimately. So please remember that in the next few words I am about to write.

I am working very hard on the flip side of judgmentalism. I grew up in a very legalistic/judgmental environment. Not necessarily within my home, but definitely with in the denomination that I grew up in. So having encountered on a very real and personal level legalistic judgements on my own life and my own person, I often find myself reversing those same legalistic values back on those who pushed them onto me.

So again...the Lord is dealing in my heart with this. I am learning that He loves the legalistic/judgemental people that are out there as much as He loves me...and they are on the same journey I am and they- not I - will be accountable for their actions one day, as I will be for mine.

With all of that I am about to go off in a RANT!
Why do people come home from missions trips and spout off the number of salvations as if they alone were the accomplishment? "We just got back from Timbuktu and we took our white selves with all of our American evangelism tactics and gathered in a crowd of poor people who culturally will agree with most anything we will say, preached to them and at the end had them raise their had if they said an incantation (ahem..excuse me prayer). We counted those hands and Praise the Lord 500 people were "saved. We won all of those people to the Lord. "
There are no words to tell you how disgusted and purely nauseated I am right at this moment.
What you have just done is completely discount and discredit all of the amazing work of the Lord that has been done long before you even knew where the place was.
When your white American selves go down to a land and are the novelty item for the week that you are there...of course crowds are going to come and see you. Most 3rd world cultures are different than our self-centered selfish selves in that they will agree to or do whatever it is that you are asking them to do with very little understanding as to why it is that you are doing it!
Please do not come back to the good ol' US of A to your middle class bible belt churches where for the most part church is a hobby one does on Sunday and count off your totals and consider your job done.
Seriously it hurts my heart!!!!

Billy Graham used to say that it took 40 people to lead someone to the cross of Christ, the 1st one didn't believe he did anything and the last one believed he did it all.

Here is what I wish I would hear when people come home from these short journeys of their lives.
"Man, we went down and were able to present the gospel in a unique way to a lot of people. They showed up because we were a novelty and that is OK, we're glad they came. We know that our missionaries that are on the field work hand in hand with these people so our coming was simply a bonus (for lack of another term at this time) to the work that the Lord is already doing. During our time there we were able to share the message of Christ and his deep love for us with fairly large crowds and as we presented the opportunity to follow Him, hundreds raised their hands in response. What we do know is that some of them were just raising their hands because we asked them too, or praying a prayer because we asked them too...but what our hearts cry is that lives there will be changed. For those who did understand and truly came to know Christ we are thrilled, we don't know the exact count because first of all that is not what matters here and second of all only God sees the heart. But we are excited to touch base and continue to support our missionary who lives among those people and hear back stories of those whose lives are changed and who are maturing and showing fruit. Plus we are excited to, God willing, go back next year and continue to establish relationship with these people. We would also ask you to pray for those who raised their hands or said a prayer just because the American said so....we know there were lots of those in that crowd, but we are praying that they will have heard something that wets their appetites to go back to the other activities of our missionary there and that one day they will understand truly come to know Him."

Maybe that is what you are saying when you come home and say "We lead such and such a total to Christ." But know that is very rarely what is communcated or heard.

I would love to apologize for this and say that my anger is not justified, but I am having to deal with that on my own. And may print some sort of retraction or addendum to this at some point. For now, I am just being real. Why can't we stop taking credit for God's work? Why must we put a number of "success" up in order to feel that our work is validated? I don't know the answers to these...I am simply wrestling and hurt and embarrased by actions and words of those who are supposed to be a representation of our mutual faith.

Today we are thinking Happy Thoughts

I am still in the midst of some interesting wrestling with the Father. Mostly He has stripped me down to the basics of my faith again and I am rebuilding His way. (which FYI, is pretty much the best way to build.)
However, because I am still processing a lot and am not sure how to articulate my current thought patterns, I think it best to move on past the heavier issues of spirituallity and tell some tales of fun!

So will do a random thot's list for you:
- Being computerless at home is not as bad as I thought it was going to be. There are moments it is inconvienient but I am getting so much more done, reading books, organizing, working my Mary Kay! Yep, not bad at all.
- I miss my camera. I am on the for sure side that is gone for good. It makes me sad...we had a lot of great adventures that camera and I.
- At the end of July I will officially have 5 people in my life whose diapers I changed...who are now engaged and will be married. I have a lot of confused feelings about this.
- Everyday with my homegroup girls in my life, is sweeter than the day before.
- Every time I see politicians on the news I am thankful that I do not have children to bring up in this world...it is just getting scarier.
- Summer fruit is amazing!
- Dogs just make the world a better place.
- Sometimes Hypothyroid symptoms are just a pain.
- Spending rare face to face time with long time friends is a treasure very hard to equal.

the end.
Tig

My Heart is Sad

Maria Sue Chapman (2003-2008)

Please be in prayer for the Chapman family, especially their son.

My toes in the ocean

Wrestling

So, I went away for 5 days. I'll post stories of adventures later.
I went away to study, spend time with the Father without distractions and seek His face.

I heard from Him when I got back at 1:30 in the morning in my own bed. I supposed I could have saved cost of plane ticket.

He asked if I trusted Him. At that moment in that situation I did not and told Him so. I am thankful that #1. He loves honesty from his children. #2. He is helping me learn to trust. #3. as mentioned in previous post...He never gets tired of me being broken.

Words that just Pierced my soul

"Jesus never gets tired of me being broken. He loves that about me even!"

How amazing!

Tunnel

Tunnel
Originally uploaded by Tigpan

You changed my world, When You came to me.
You drove a passion, In my soul down deep,
Lord, to follow You in everything.

I don't want to go somewhere
If I know that You're not there,
'Cause I know that me without You is a lie.
And I don't want to walk that road,Be a million miles from home,
Cause my heart needs to be where You are.
So I don't want to go.

So come whatever, I'll stick with You.
I'll walk You'll lead me, Call me crazy or a fool,
For forever I promise You...

That I don't want to go somewhere
If I know that You're not there,
'Cause I know that me without You is a lie.
And I don't want to walk that road,
Be a million miles from home,
'Cause my heart needs to be where You are.
So I don't want to go

Without Your touch
Without Your love
Filling me like an ocean.
For Your grace is enough
Enough for me.

Never want to go somewhere
If I know that You're not there..

Cause my heart needs to be where You are.

-words and music by Avalon

Sometimes....

.....I hate that the perfect answer is wait...having faith that "He who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it." Trust in another and know that God's timing (not my timing) is perfect.

...the warrior is a child who just needs a place to hide for a little while. (thank you Twila Paris!)

...those you believe are worth fighting for don't believe it of themselves, so everything you can do is pray that God will give the the vision to see.

...even though it is blazingly obvious that other people's struggles are much bigger, yours feel insurmountable.

...tomorrow doesn't bring sun but rainstorms.

....you justhave to get away and let God move in you from a different vantage point....so I last night I booked a flight here....I leave May 7 and will chronicle my journey here.

Isn't it wonderful that
Always....
His promises are faithful and true!

Totally Random Thoughts

Do not expect this blog to have any rhyme, reason or flow....

I love the person of my boss! I learn from her daily and cannot even begin to express how thankful I am that God brought her into my life! She inspires me, makes me laugh out loud, and teaches me daily.

I filed my taxes on April 15th. I have never waited (read procrastinated) this long. I sat in a mile long line at the post office at 10:30 that night and handed my envelop to a postal worker who was lined up at the curb to take it. Hope that was really a postal worker. By the way, another GREAT advantage to Mary Kay...my tax deductions....my return will be NICE!

I miss my family in Bots. It is high time that I saw them so if anyone can figure how to make the Atlantic shrink for a day or so I am very open to suggestions.

I love soccer! Go Badgers! We lose, but we lose pretty! You girls are great!

I cannot imagine how in the world I went through life with the women in my home group. I did not know the joys of being a part of a community of young women! Had I known before I would have definitely not waited a year to find them!

I have the coolest kinesilogist/chiropractor on the planet. Not sure I ever want to go to any other doctor ever. He knows so much it is amazing. Remedy for allergies. Soak feet in a very hot bath with dry mustard powder.....or vicks rub on feet with socks and go to sleep....also honey (made locally so it has local pollen allergins) and lemon. All three work like a charm.

Puppies just make the world better....

I think that all of current candidates for president of this here United States, need a spanking, their mouths washed out with soap, a time out (for a long time - till like November), and to stick their noses in the corner...in that order. or maybe we should just fire them and start over.

I am craving to get on a plane and go somewhere, take lots of pictures and sit by a beach...

Dallas is #2 worst city in the nation for allergies this year.....come visit!

Ok, I think that is all for now. So I will leave you with first ever Dumb Blond Man Joke!
An Irishman , a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building." The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too." The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too." The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well. At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife who said . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."Don't look at me. The idiot made his own lunch."

Racism Personified

My friend Tim and I used to start every story about events that happened to us by no fault of our own....by saying "There I was minding my own business...." The other person immediately knew that this story was going to be quite on the entertaining side of things and probably be a comedic tragedy of some sort.
So, there I was in the dermatologist office waiting room...minding my own business. I was flipping through Family Circle or some such "women's" magazine that I would only read if I was in a doctor's office...waiting for the nurse to call my name.
In the background I can hear CNN spinning and weaving its particular slant on the news stories that it decided were going to be the "top stories of the day". I am ignoring it as I often do because having worked in the media I know that most of the story line is simply reporter dribble anyway.
On comes the "TOP Story" about Obama's preacher. Now I am not one to discuss politics. Do I have my opinion...Yes...do I want to hear yours...not really...but if I have to that is ok. As long as you realize that it is YOURS, and do not spend the time telling me why mine is wrong. That being said, I am not here to give a long drawn out opinion of Obama and his campaign. Nor am I here to justify or crucify his pastor for comments made. That Obama and his preacher and the subject of racism was on TV, is simply the background information to this story.
In the waiting room with me is a woman of color and her husband. I would say "African American" but those who know me well...DO know my opinion on that particular phrase (which happens to be that it is a title only given to those who deserve it)...and this woman was about to find out the same!
****Also I want to take moment right here to say that I abhor racism and bigotry of all types, I have friends of every color and socio-economic background...and I am only racist towards "Trash" of all colors and socio-economic backgrounds...and towards bigots****
So this woman, who just so happens to have darker skin than mine begins to give her opinion re: the story on television to her husband. How that it is about time that racism was brought up as it has never gone away, and needs to be brought to light, and that "white" media was slanting this story (nevermind the FACT that the person reporting was also of black descent). She went on to say that if we really wanted to know what he said that we needed to listen to the entire sermon and not just the snippits that we were given on CNN..to that point and that point alone I was in agreement. I do believe that if one has to have an opinion especially on such a controversial topic, that the more educated one can be the better.
So on and on she goes talking to her husband and just bashing white people right and left. I am quietly sitting there pretending I am not listening to her.
Her husband gets called back to the office leaving just her and me in the waiting room. I put down the magazine and accidentally catch her eye as I lean over to put it back on the table. She says, "So what do you think of all of this." Having not listened to the sermon and in truth not really paid attention to the media storm around it I let her know that I really could not give her an educated opinion on the subject. That was, in her mind, the wrong answer. Actually I think any answer I would have given her would have been the wrong one to tell the truth.
So she says "You know as a young WHITE woman you need to take note of this, racism is strong and active in our country. People are judged by their color of skin and their socio-economic status and are forced down by WHITE conservatives to stay right where they are. Civil rights are just a theory that our government would like us to believe exists. Then she goes on to tell me that why she clings to the title "African-american" because "her people" were stripped of their culture when they were taken from the shores of Africa. And how down through history their titles have changed from Nigger, to Negro, to Colored, to Black to finally something they could live with...African American!
Now at this point, I have just about had it. Because she has just done to me exactly what she accuses White people of doing to her. So I say, "I am not trying to be disrespectful to you at all. But I have a couple of questions for you, first of all why is it that I am 'white' and you are 'black' but Asians are called Asian and Mexicans are Mexicans. Why aren't they "yellow" and "brown"? " She thought that was a good question. Then I said and "Why is it that you looked at my age and the color of my skin and made an automatic judgement on me?"
I was just getting started...in a very calm voice I said...."Again, not meaning any disrespect at all...however, since you took the time to disrespect me I just thought I would set a couple of things straight. For your limited information, you looked at my skin, my clothes and my current location and made a judgement....I actually was raised in Africa...and though I hold an American passport, it is still the continent and culture that I call home. My family has lived there for over 25 years and we consider ourselves to be very "African American". Until I moved to this United States I had no idea what color my skin was or my socio-economic status. I have sat in the huts of those who have nothing more than the basic necessities of life, yet because of their love for Jesus have much more that the majority of the people who are too lazy to work so suck everything they can out of government help here in the US. I never thought of myself as better than them or more than them. They work hard and put most of there "descendents" in South Dallas and other parts of our fair land to absolute shame! If an adult in the village told me what to do I obeyed. They were my elders, my equals. I have sat in the home of the brother of the President of Kenya and because I was child I served the adults just as the other children did. I was given no special privileges because of skin color, I was their equal. My best friends were black and brown and I was white. That is what we called each other not in a degrading way, but simply because it was fact.
Ma'am, racism goes both ways. You looked at me and made a judgement call. However, let me explain to you about my "lost culture"...I am American born white girl, who descendants are native American, Irish, German and who knows what else - I spent all of the formative years of my life in Kenya, Africa where I left behind half of my heart - I have lived in several states and in Hong Kong - where another piece of my heart was left behind. Please tell me what culture to put in front of the name "American" to identify me. So I mean no disrespect at all when I tell you that I have much more African running through my veins than you ever will, and that I very seriously doubt you would last more than two days in most of the places I have spent my life..."
At this point, I have not raised my voice, or stopped for breath...and as I stop now the woman has nothing she can say. She sputters out something like "Well you are a mutt of cultures aren't you?" (please explain how that is not an insult)
At that exact moment the nurse, a beautiful African American woman graciously opened the door and called my name....

New Template

Playing with my blog design...so patience while I perfect! :)

Through the waterfall

Through the waterfall
Originally uploaded by Tigpan

I just wrote a long blog and then it deleted itself...par for the course today...I give up...I am going to bed!

Meet Paddington Workman

Hi!
I am Paddington Workman. I am 8 1/2 weeks old and I love my mommy!


She picked me out of a line up when I was born to a stray that was being fostered in a rescue group in Houston. They are a really great group...they cared for my mama till my brothers and sisters and I were ok on our own and then they found her a forever home so she won't get "knocked up" any more...whatever that is.




(see that's me up at the top...my mommy says she picked me cause I look like my cat brother -Picasso- He's adopted too, but he is 2 years old now and is really smart and kinda jealous that came along. More on him later.)

So my forever mom, waited 8 long weeks, I had to grow so the doctor could make me neutral. I don't know what he did, but I went in and he made me take a nap and when I woke up I just didn't feel all there any more if you know what I mean. But that is ok, from what I understand if you are not neutral you get in trouble all the time (I think that is what happened to my birth mom!)

So, I now am learning all the tricks in my household. When I get up from a nap if I don't go outside I'd better go potty on the crinkly blue thing in the corner, or mom grabs me and takes me over to it. Then I think she wants to play so I jump up and down and lick her and she just walks away. I am so confused.

My house is at the top of this enormous building. My mommy carries me down the stairs cause they are too big for me to go down. Then we go for a long walk. It is lots of fun and I have met some new friends along the path. When I go potty in the grass my mom gives me a treat! Can you believe it! Natural body function that I can't help, I do it and mom gives me treat! What a life!! At the end of our long walk, I climb all the stairs to the house...I was scared at first but now I just climb right up them like a big boy. I am sooo tired when I get to the top.

I have to stay in my crate when mommy leaves for work, but then my nanny comes over...she is so pretty and so sweet. She smells like a german shepherd, but she doesn't look like one (I think maybe her kid does though). She loves me so much..she made me a tag that has my name on it and mommy's phone number in case I get lost. and yesterday she brought me a new bag of treats! She takes me for long walks and plays with me till naptime and then I got back in my crate. I don't really mind, but I cry for a while to make them feel bad.

My cat brother - Picasso - he doesn't have to go in a crate and sometimes he comes and laughs at me while I am sleeping, but he mostly sleeps all day too...he is kinda lazy!

He didn't like it when I first got there...he just growled all the time and said bad words...but I didn't care I had new toys to play with. Mommy says I am a bit ADD when it comes to toys....I am not! I just love my squishy bone..I like to chew it and carry it and walk with it (*spies rattle ball)...OOOOOO rattle ball...I LOVE my rattle ball, (*drops squishy bone) how do I play with both...oh decisions decisions....look at my rattle ball I love my rattle ball, I like to chew it and carry it and walk with it (*spies squeaky toy) - OOOOOOOOOO squeaky tooy!!!!” But I digress my apologies.

So the other day I was just playing with my toys like a good boy and that ol' cat was watching me from the couch. Sometimes I think he thinks I am a rat. I am NOT a rat, I am a rat TERRIER two totally different things. Anyway, I decided I wanted a drink of water so I went to the kitchen to get one (mama keeps a bowl just for me there...cept sometimes I share with Picasso cause he is bigger and says so). I guess that Picasso was mad cause I was ignoring him, so he jumped off the couch onto the counter (he is not supposed to be up there but he is disobedient all the time!) ...then he jumped down on bar stool....then under bar stool....the carefully stalks around the corner...sees me..waits for right second and POP!! slaps me! Then the coward takes off! I was not going to let him get away with it so I tried to chase him, but he just got on top of the couch again.

I was mad so I went over to see mom and she did not yell at him at all! She was laughing! I was so hurt...I just went and got my squishy bone and shook it hard!

After my long walk at night mom makes me play with all of my toys. I am so tired I just lay down and she makes me chase the rattle ball or squeaks my toy bone so I wake up again. Finally I just can't take it any more so I crawl in her lap and lay my head down and fall asleep. When I wake up I am soft and warm in my crate...but I don't mind..I just roll over and go back to sleep.

So that is me....welcome to my world! I am sure I'll update more...I am hilarious and have some GREAT stories. Ta ta for now....

Now where is that rattle ball....oh...squishy bone! yes!

Continued prayer

Dear Loved Ones,

It is hard to believe we are into the last week of February.

Thank you for praying for Devin this week. The medication seemed to not bother his system and he has seemed to have a little more energy this week. He has another day on the meds and then we see the doctor next month again. We thank the Lord for what he did this week.

for more of this update go to http://mtuwakazi.blogspot.com/

Next...news of my new puppy! :)
AW

The Results are In!!

Dear Loved Ones,

Not many people rejoice over a positive blood test but today we did. We heard from the doctor in Johannesburg where the microbiologist was successful in finding something in Devin’s bloodwork that has defied all other tests. In fact, they found 3 types of bacterial infections.
Q-fever, mycroplasma and rickettsia. There is no indication of how long these have been at work in Devin, but we know that he has been sick off and on for at least three years. There is a treatment prescribed that has been successful in other patients.

Devin will begin tomorrow on a course of two antibiotics along with three other medications. These should work on the bacteria and make him feel pretty miserable. We will see the doctor again in a month and he will tell us what to do from there. From what we are reading, treatment can be anywhere from three months to two years, with most people being treated for eight months. Pray with us that Devin’s body will respond to this treatment. We would, of course, like to see the minimal timing on this, but we will trust the Lord for His direction.

Thank you for praying with us. We had a good week and Sunday 90 people were present to hear a message on God’s love. Please continue to pray with us that Spencer will be saved. He is drawn to the message of Christ and has already brought a friend to church with him.

Reaching the Unreached,


Steve, Pam, Amanda, Derek and Devin

Jambo!

This is the ultimate tourist song of Kenya....You just can't help but dance along! :) The last words mean "in Kenya there is no Problems". I wish that were true right now! Continue to pray for peace in my country if you would!

You know you are from Africa when....

You know you're from Africa when...
...it doesn't seem right to pay the asking price on anything in a store. If you can't barter for it, it's not worth having.
...you're appalled that American grocery stores only sell one or two different types of bananas.
...your parents yell at you for forgetting to use silverware in public.
...you're going to visit your Grandparents and take you passport ~ just in case you have to evacuate.
...you find all the non-white people on campus so you can be a minority again.
...you can lead a 20 minute conversation starting with "walleponaua!!" and keep it going by replying "ehh" in numerous different tone-levels for the next half an hour! (...and have the other person exactly understand what you are saying!!)
….someone asks you for directions or where something is and you point with your chin or your pursed lips
...you fear for you life while riding in a Matatu....anywhere!
...you call everyone older then you uncle or aunt.
...you'd rather be barefoot and you know that the bloody gooey mess they call beef jerky in the States would never pass for true biltong.
...every toothpaste is colgate.
...every soap is surf.
...every soft drink is coca cola or fanta.
...you have uncles and aunts who are younger than you.
...black outs are nothing new to you.
...no running water for a day is just another ordinary thing
...40 degrees is cold.
...You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement.
...four cars are driving parallel to each other on a one-lane road.
...The smell of freshly rained on mud paths/tarmac is comforting.
...being an hour late equals being "on time"
...you get car sick cuz the roads just can't have enough potholes!
... you pass by someone’s house and you know what they gonna have for dinner cuz u can pretty much see and/or smell what's cooking
...you can bribe a cop and get away with it!
...you have an over whelming urge to wash all your salad in milton (baby bottle bleach, supposedly kills cholera) and add a bit of charcoal to your milk just to get the taste your used to.
...You know that the police aren’t always the safest place to go when you're in trouble.
...Cramming 7 passengers in a 4 passenger taxi is really not a big deal.
...you know never to question what you're eating (even if it does taste good), cuz sometimes you just don't want to know.
...you invite people for a get together at 7 and they all come at 9.
...football is played with some sort of ROUND ball and WITHOUT hands.
...everyone in your country plays soccer.
...you cram 24 people into a 14 passenger matatu and have never felt closer to your African friends.
...you make friends with the local shepherd and know the goats by name.
...carry purell like it's your life supply.
...you spent countless hours shining your shoes when u know very well that by the time you get to the taxi stop, they'll be covered in unbelievable dirt!
...you keep converting the value of things in your home currency when u see the dollar value.
...a plane flies by and you just cant help but look up!
... you have another name in your home language.
... you hate American corn, because it's never hard enough.
... you've drunk real chai, not this coffeeshop stuff. (AMEN!)
...you remember being so confused about how you could pay for something with a visa.
...you know you are from Africa when you have put Vaseline in your hair to be like your African friends..and your Mom has to take it out with OMO and Kerosene!
...you expect people to tell you they're fine before you ask them
...you used to shower under the rain.
...someone is riding their bike down the road with corrugated iron strapped width wise across the back of the bike and its taking up more than half of the road.
...you miss rain on a corrugated iron roof; it's so loud you have to shout to be heard.
...you've been proposed to while walking down the street (if you're a girl, that is, lol)
...you know what true hospitality and generosity is...when those who have almost nothing still welcome you in with open arms and are willing to share everything they have with you - even though they barely know you!
...someone asks you how much your sister costs.
...your brother tries to sell you to his college roommate for 36 cows or goats...
...You unwrap all your gifts carefully, so that you can reuse the wrapper.
...You call a person you've never met before uncle or aunt.
...more than 90% of the music CD's and cassettes in your home are illegal copies.
...you have almost always carry overweight baggage when traveling by plane.
...Nobody in your family informs you that they are coming over for a visit.
...You only make telephone calls at a cheaper rate at night
...You never have less than 20 people to meet you at the airport or see you off even if it is a local flight.
...someone offers seven cows for your infant sisters future hand in marriage.
...you learn the native words for "white person" everywhere you go, because you hear it shouted everywhere you go.
...something that would normally take half an hour in the Western world takes a few days or weeks...and if it didn't it just wouldn't be fun.
...you find it completely natural to have burglar-bars outside your windows
...you know the DSTV channels by heart
...you known not to question the contents of your food when it tastes good
...you bought your cellphone through your car window
...chicken is a luxury
...you wonder why there aren't any herds of cows and goats walking down the street in North America
...you can smell the rain before it comes
...you can look up at the sky and see every star clearly
...the sunset is something to look forward to
...you miss the the sound of rain on your tin roof at night, the after-rain smell, and the spectacular lightning shows.
...the only thing you throw away is avocado stones, and even then you wonder if you should save them and plant a tree
...every white thing you own has permanently turned a curious shade of orange
...everywhere you walk children run up to you shouting, 'how are you! how are you, how are you?' mzungu! mzungu!
...You spend as little time as possible in the toilet, and can hold your breath for amazing lengths of time.
...you always drink your drink straight away in front of the shop, and give them the bottle back.
...you spray 'Doom' in your tent before going to bed.
...when Americans tell you that the "chai" you're drinking isn't real because it's not Indian, and they think it's tea with milk. it's milk with tea.
…you’re NOT in Africa and you miss everything everybody else mentioned so much it hurts.
...you dream about Africa - a lot.
....you think of giving up trying to convince people of what it’s really like - even though they really do try, they often just don’t understand.
... you expect to be able to buy roast corn, fried meat or fish, boiled yams or cassava etc whilst you are traveling on public transport.
...having mud-orange feet is normal.
...instead of being greeted with "good morning", you're greeted with "Are you awake?"
...the rain back "home" feels cold.
...you go away on holiday and come back, and the people ask you: "Are you back?"
...you get the songs from the celltel and pepsi baridi adverts stuck in your head
...you learn quickly that pedestrians DO NOT have the right-of-way
...you'd rather be barefoot
...you realize that after leaving Africa you can never have another piece of fruit that will ever taste as good as it does there
...you can buy anything you like at traffic lights, from fruit to hangers to kitchen knifes.
...your 'guard dogs' were the most lovable pets ever
...you prefer music that's slightly out of tune
...b.o. is a comforting smell (LOL!!)
...you reuse plastic throwaways
...$2 is too much for a t-shirt
...the smell of an old, smoky diesel engine makes you smile and long for 'home'
...pop comes in bottles
...you aren't surprised when you have to stop the car to let three giraffes finish crossing the highway in front of you
...you buy your milk in a triangular cardboard container from a hut on the side of the road
...you know the profound and tangible silence of dawn on the Masai Mara
...you know that an umbrella is useless during the rainy season and simply accept the fact that you'll be wet for 3 months... and really don't mind either.
...you've seen a sky so blue you could cry, with thick, perfect white clouds you can almost taste
...people bump into the car in front, check out the damage, hand over some money (maybe!) and then drive off!
...you think nothing of driving down a road that has potholes bigger than anything!
...you get culture shock in a grocery store, when you see the shelves completely stocked with 15 different kinds of whatever!
...you're an expert at packing bags and people into cars . . . and making everything fit!!!
...When there's no electricity, you're in bed by dark and up at sunrise.
...When you go to the pictures to see a movie...and the place is like something out of the 1950s...and not only do they put the film on especially for the 4 of you because there's no-one else there but it's a dvd ....and a pirated one at that...
...you buy a movie on the street, get home and watch it, and realize that you can hear the person chomping on their popcorn in the theatre...only the best :)
...you're sure your going to die 9 times in a 5 minute minibus trip
...You remember the smell of the first rain signaling the end of the dry season
...you hand in your glass bottle of fizzy soft drink back to the shop keeper for recycling just to get your deposit back

...tears well up in your eyes as you read this list, either wishing that you were back in Africa or glad that you are still there...

What a great life I have!

I must have a very full life not to have the time to spend updating the world on the events of it through this blog, huh?

My friend "K" is worried about the lack of time to post on her mommy blog. That is ok, K, don't give it up...just blog when you can...your updates inspire!

Speaking of K, let me tell you of the fabulous couple of weeks I have had, including a weekend in Houston.

I have found that my life at work is never going to slow down it is just going to get busier by the day. The amazing thing is my enjoyment of that. I love the feeling of purpose that I have with in my job...it is so great! There are days that I wish that everyone would just leave me alone to get it all done, but if they all left then I would miss them....silly me!

The highlight of my month was getting to spend the long weekend (thank you Mr. King, jr) in Houston. I made phone calls or texted everyone to let them know I was going to be around. Several answered wanting a peice of my time, so I sat down and figured out exact times that I could meet with everyone that wanted to see me without my be frazzled in the end. It worked out beautifully.

First I spent a few hours with my favorite Cheerleader! My sweet Em is going to be a senior next year...how can the years have gone so quickly? She is growing into a beauty and learning some very important life lessons at an early age. We had a couple of sisterly heart to hearts in my time spent with her and then she made fun of them....yep she is a teenager! She is more like me every day and I think that scares her mother!

That evening, my girl Marianne and I headed down to Kiran II for all you can eat Sushi! (Ha! I never thought I would say those words with joy!) We had a great time and ate and laughed and shared life till we were stuffed! Then we headed over to PF Changs to see my favorite bartender where I indulged in some birthday cranberry juice with a shot of cranberry...yeah I am wild!

Sunday was spent with the Crawford family. They are my treasure! What a gift to walk into a home where as you walk in the door the burdens of of life fall off your shoulders. Where there is unconditional love no matter what the situation and where laughter, a love for Christ and family reign. I am so thankful for this family and this home!



Sunday evening...a rare treasure. Usually on Sunday evening during a "houston weekend" I am making my way back from Houston, tired and a little sad because I did not get to spend any time with my friends from my former TKD school.
This weekend because I did not have to be back until Monday, I got to spend Sunday evening at the home of my friend Maricris!
The evening started with me attending Mass with them. I love their church. When I was at the TKD school I was often called a "religious thrill seeker", because I would show up to Mass with them whenever the kids would invite me. This was said with laughter, but what was really known and felt was that I was/am passionately in love with the same Savior and Jesus that they are. It was important to me then and still is that the kids I taught knew just that. If I could show them by being involved in my own church, I did. I also showed them by attending their church with them and being respectful of our differences in belief, yet our common love for the Savior.
After Mass we made our way back to Maricris' home where after a yummy meal of spaghetti, (and the Giants beating the Packers) we settled down to Majong and I was re-taught how to play! The kids played "Rockstar" and "Guitar-hero" with Fish singing "la-la-la" cause he couldn't read the words!

Two sweet memories bring a smile to my face and both involve Fish..suprise suprise. The first was when Fish walked through the door and saw me for the first time in probably a year, and he ran and wrapped his arms around my legs and hugged me for a good 5 minutes. During the evening we had a couple of conversations...conversations that could only be had with Fish (i.e. the logic behind each of the names of his webkins..I promise it was riviting!) The most bittersweet however, was when the kids were ready to make their leave and Fish clung to my neck and whispered "I miss you all the time." in my ear.

Funny how one can capture another's heart and keep it even at a young age. Fish you capture my heart little one! I am so proud of who you are growing up to be. I promise to come visit more often, I need your influence in my life!

I drove home the next morning having seen some sweet wonderful faces, but missing out on seeing others. Time is so short when spending it with those we love.

For those I did not see...I love you, wish the moments of the day were longer and our distance between shorter! "I miss you all the time."

A Letter from Isaka

Dear loved ones,

You are aware that the first years of our overseas ministry was spent in Kenya. We have written about our pastor Isaka Wachiye and his faithfulness for 20+ years. The recent news from Kenya has touched our hearts because a lot of the violence was in our own town of Eldoret where we lived for the time we ministered there. We have heard tragic stories from many friends, but also have heard of God’s protection. We wondered how it was for Isaka. This week, we received the following letter from him. We he mentions the food stores – he could possibly mean groceries stores and/or stores of grain kept by their huts. Should God move your heart for this need, we will forward the monies to him as soon as we receive them.

*Note: Isaka is our pastor of over 20 years, of the church in Kabuchi, Kenya (near the border of Kenya and Uganda). This was my parent's first work and sweet Isaka who started as our gardner began to pastor this work about 2 years or so after it started. He and his family have served faithfully since then. As you can see from the letter below he is a man of great faith and wisdom. His letter here refers to the damage of the recent political clashes in Kenya. Please be in prayer for this sweet family and Elgon View Baptist Church in Kabuchi, Kenya.

Dear Br Workmans,
> Receive our greetings in the mighty name of our Lord
> Jesus Christ.We hope that you are fine and doing well
> in his service.
> Thanks be to God for enabling you and the church to
> reach the new year 2008.
> For us we've seen a new year but through struggle, and
> hardship that came following elections that was
> contacted in December. This led to the fighting
> between people of all races, some being killed, others
> injured, housesd being burned, looting people's
> properties, no transportation, no visiting of the
> shops for shopping. Some of our family members were
> butchered while in their house - Father, Mother and
> their children.
> For us the gang came and carried away everything that
> was valuable to them, it is now difficult for us to
> send children to school for life has come back to zero
> and it needs new plans.
> This is just to inform you about it and for you to
> know that we are alive through God's grace. We
> earnestly request for your prayers, for us and our
> country to have peace. Pray that God may provide for
> us our needs.
> Truely life has become hard for us.
> We are writing this in fear without freedom.
> The church is doing well, but some4 members have been
> displaced by the chaos. Others lost a lot of their
> properties, and some are still staying in the police
> station. As the church this is the burden that we are
> carrying for now both spiritually - evangelization and
> material provision to these families, but it is not
> enough. Some of the food stores were burned.
> Pray brother that things may change to normal. For now
> the situation is improving for we can move around and
> some of the offices are opened for service.
> God bless. Amen.
>
> Yours faithfully,
> Pastor Isaac.

Into my 31st year

Happy New Year to all....and blessings for what promises to be a fantastic 2008!

This past weekend I celebrated the 31st anniversary of my day of birth.
One thing about having a January birthday, it allows you to stop and take stock at the beginning of the year at the same time as one is normally already taking stock and making resolutions.

I personally am not a resolution maker. I know myself well enough to know that I am going to break them so instead I set goals for myself that I know that with the right planning I can accomplish and will feel good about accomplishing.

However, I do like to look back at the past year and see what God has done. Last year at this time the Lord was working in my life (to say the least!) In all honesty though my birthday weekend turned out ok, my life was fairly misreable, I had just moved to Dallas to take a job that I thought I really wanted and it turned out to be the job from that really really hot place, I had yet to truly find a church home, I was struggling with faith as a whole, I had not really found a community and did not have that many friends with whom I could live life.

This year on my birthday my life was contrastly different. I found myself sitting on the front row the church I am honored to call home and where I have the pleasure of serving. As my church began to sing the amazing song "Glorious Day" I had a taste of what heaven would be like. I was surrounded by friends, people the love me and people whom I love. People that I have the honor of doing life with! People that stand beside me in the gap to fight the battles of the unseen, friends that laugh and cry and share their lives with me. Best of all we were in adoring worship of the Father and the glorious day that our sweet Lord will return.

I have a job that I love! A boss that is so incredible and co-workers that I respect and with whom I enjoy working! (what a concept huh!)

I have an incredibly family on both sides of the Atlantic that I get to call mine. I am being able to develop relationships with many of my extended family that I have not had the joy of knowing deeply before.

My life is a testimony of God's faithfulness. That He would bless someone so incredibly unworthy with so much is humbling.

31...actually in my 30's. It is going to be a grand adventure...the sky's the limit!!


Blessings!

From North Carolina

Hello all,

I have not fallen off the face of the planet I promise! The last few weeks at work have been hectic, hectic, hectic. My sweet boss has had so many trips back and forth and my job is just to get her ready and go. :-)

The first week of december my dad and I talked and decided that financially it was just not a wise thing for me to head over to Bots for Christmas. The ticket would have been 3x's what it normally is and though it would have been nice, we just felt it was not great stewardship of God's resources.

So last saturday morning, I got up before the sun and drove from Dallas to Nashville. It was a long drive with an hour stuck in traffic with the car turned off and talking on the phone. But I made it safely to my sweet friend Annie's home. We have been friends since our childhood in Kenya, living a good portion of that childhood side by side, so any time spent with her is a special gift.

I got up on Sunday morning (though I did let the sun get up before me this time) and continued my trek to Burlington, North Carolina where my aunt and uncle (on my dad's side) reside. My granny had already been there for a few days, so it was a great reunion.

Christmas Day was great! My cousin showed up from a long trek himself and we all had a great time together.

The AHA gives us an entire week of for Christmas so I have stayed on here and enjoyed spending time with my aunt (discovering just how alike we are is fun and sometimes scary) and granny.

I leave tomorrow morning back to Nashville, where I will see the New Year in with my Annie girl....I can't wait!

Hope that your Christmas season has been just as wonderfully blessed as mine!
Love to all!!

See you in the New Year!

The Giving of Thanks

Going into the holidays is one of the most difficult times of the year for me. As a TCK it is a fact of life that my heart is in several different pieces and has its place on several different continents, however, during the holidays those feelings are magnified a thousand times over.

This year is no different. The past few weeks have been a struggle with my coming to terms with the fact that once again it doesn’t matter where I am, I am far away from those I love.

Then I took a step back and decided to try the “thankful” route. Starting a prayer with “Lord, thank you for….” and going from there always helps me know just how incredibly blessed I am, and more than not pulls me from the doldrums that threaten to take over if I am not careful.

My prayer this week started like this…I pray that it brings hope to you wherever you may be in your walk.

“Lord, thank You that I am breathing. I realize that every breath that I take in is not only a miracle, but it is mercy from Your hand, and that every breath I breathe out is simply Your grace imparted on my life.
Thank you that I can get out of bed in the morning. Even when my brain is tired from lack of sleep that comes from an unfaithful lack of trust, You still bless me with energy and sufficient muscle combinations to get out of bed.
Thank You for blankets that keep me warm through the night, so many are cold this morning.
Thank You for clean running water and electricity that is on as long as I pay the bills (thank You for the money to do so). I know these are conveniences that not everyone is blessed with and I confess that I so often take them for granted.
Thank you for creating animals to have as companions. Thanks for giving me a cat that wakes me up with a warm purr every morning, even when I do not want him too. His antics make me laugh out loud and he is a blessing from You.
Thank You for my cute little car, Cecil. Thank You that not only does he run smoothly and get me from place to place, but that you gave me the type of car that I had wanted for such a long time. Thank You for knowing and granting the details.
Thank You that all the lights were green this morning, and that You granted me safety on my way to work. Thank You for the patience to sit in traffic when every single one is red.
Lord, thank You for an amazing job that I so do not deserve and for a boss that inspires me daily and is so incredibly kind and pleasant to work for. Thank You for granting me favor in her eyes. Help me to serve her today in the same way that I would serve You.
Thank You for my coworker friends who make me laugh, and encourage me. Thank You that they listen to me rant when I am frustrated and encourage me when I am low. Thank You for what they teach me and help me to learn. Thank you for a work environment that is safe, clean and, even on the long days, worth it.
Thank You for food that you have blessed me with throughout the day. I confess that I do not always eat what is good for me, forgive me when I put gross junk into Your temple.
Thank You for the beauty of the sunset I get to watch on my way home at night, or in the winter time the beauty of the moon as it rises. How different this world would be if You had created it in only monochromatic colors.
Thank You for friends to talk to on the phone even if they live far away, and thank You for the friends that live close by. Forgive me for not taking more time to live life with them. They are all so incredibly wonderful and offer friendship and love that I do not always deserve.
Thank You for an incredible apartment to come home to. It is warm and clean, and in a safe neighborhood. So many people cannot claim these luxuries and I confess that I do not always see them as such.
Thank you for the fact that even though I am always way too far away from people in my life, whether they be in Africa, Europe, Asia, or the USA that I still have them in my life. Thank You for the roles they played in the season that we were actually in the same place at the same time, and for the roles they play now even though we are so far apart. God I ask for Your blessings to pour out on them. For those of them that do not know You, may they find You, for those that do may they rejoice in the knowledge of You.
Thank You for my family, both blood related and God related. Each one is a gift from you, thank You for the relationships I have with each one.
Thank You most of all for the gift of Your Son. Without Him my life has absolutely no meaning, hope, joy, peace, or purpose. Please forgive me when I allow my selfishness to get in the way of remembering that.
Thank You for walking through my day with me. Bless those I love who are laying their heads down at the end of a long day, bless their sleep and their dreams, and bless those just starting into what is my tomorrow in far away places, keep them safe and bring us together soon.
I love you, Lord!
Amen

Adventure of Tigpan o’r the past few weeks

Orlando/Daytona

AHA Scientific Sessions is a week of over 25, 000 (that is right THOUSAND) cardiologist, cardio-nurses, and cardiac research scientists all coming together to learn from each other, find out new techniques, discover new tools for surgery and treatments,etc etc etc. People tried to tell me but I could not fathom what I saw when I got there. The exhibit hall alone was astounding. State of art technology helped demonstrate state of the art cardio-technology. Outside of the exhibit hall, Drs and research scientists were giving lectures, presenting their case studies and the development of them, meetings were going on between pharmaceutical companies (the ones with the money) and councils (the ones with the brains), there I was in the middle of it all….running back and forth helping several different departments as well as supporting my fabulous boss! It was an incredible week….I have attached my favorite photo from the week, one that I think would be a wonderful theme for a missions conference!


From there I was supposed to head down to Ft.Lauderdale and Miami, but due to circumstances was not able to make that journey. I was however able to spend a short period of time with my family in Daytona. What a blessing that was to me. Relationships are hard to develop anytime, but throw a dozen years of living on separate continents and that difficulty increases. However, I am blessed to have a family that keeps trying and am enjoying the relationships I am getting to build as an adult.

BTW, check out my cousin’s little one….she will be the next great photographer in the family!


Back to Texas, and a whirlwind of a couple of weeks. Coming out of Sessions, my boss had a myriad of meetings that needed to be set up between now and the end of the year. Throw in an already packed schedule, the packed schedules of other people to be involved in these meetings, two holiday weeks and a partridge in a pear tree and you have a flurry of emails back and forth, time negotiating and flights to book….but thankful, through His Grace alone, it is all done!

Last Saturday I had the wonderful joy of getting to spend a few short hours with my friend’s Lance and Amy Auterson. We have known each other since our prisoner days in Springfield, Misery, and they now serve as Missionaries to France. They had been gone from the US for 4 years, and in those years proceeded to produce two absolutely adorable chirren’ (to use Lance’s phrasing). What a blessing to hear about their ministry, their family and to get to hug and kiss those two adorable little ones.


I think you are caught up. I have a few family news items to share, but will post that next time as this has been long.

Blessings!

The Peace of the Ocean

shell
Originally uploaded by Tigpan

He that will learn to pray, let him go to sea. ~George Herbert

New Blog

My heart can never quite contain the joy I feel when I get an email or phone call letting me know I or my family have been lifted to the Father in prayer. I believe that that is where the battles of this life are won I am so thankful for those who choose to join me even for a moment on the battle front.

My mom sends out an update every Sunday to friends and family, and I have often shared her letters here on this blog. After so many questions and notes of encouragement, I have created a blog especially for just those updates. It will mostly be updated on Sunday's, but will be full of the life and ministry of my family. It is entitled "News from where my heartbeats" Because anyone who knows me knows that it beats so far away from where I currenly sit. You can find it at mtuwakazi.blogspot.com Mtuwakazi literally translated means "man of work" and is the direct translation of our last name "Workman."

I hope you enjoy it!
Love to you all...

Botswana Update

**Weekly update from my mom**

Dear Loved Ones,

Thank you for keeping us in your prayers. The last couple of weeks have been hard for us.
Steve flew to the States about a week and a half ago. We have been monitoring Devin from this side and began to be concerned about his lack of progress healthwise. We talked with Jon Konnerup and our sending pastor and they agreed that one of us needed to come to see what the situation was. When Steve arrived, Devin had been diagnosed with pneumonia again. That is the fourth time since last year. After talking with his doctor and his deans at Liberty, it was decided that Devin would take a medical withdrawal. This was a hard decision for all of us but most of all for Devin who has been doing his best to adjust to America, adjust to college life and relationships all the while struggling with some serious health issues. Would you pray that God will help us to get the right help for him? We have already talked with the doctors on this side and they are working on a plan to build his immune system and then go from there.

Transitioning is a very hard process for all missionaries. We spend a lot of our lives preparing ourselves to be in another place. Once we arrive on the field we try to get adjusted and then we have to begin to prepare to go Stateside. We aren’t stateside very long before we have to prepare to come back. It is a strenuous process spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. Some people work through it fairly well, others never get through it successfully. Please pray with us that God will help Devin as he comes back and that Devin will receive the help that God has for him.

Sometimes when the pastor is away, strange things can happen in church. This morning, we had our time that we set aside each Sunday for prayer requests and praises. All of a sudden, Rahab gets up and RUNS to the front of the service. I’m thinking WHAT IS SHE DOING?!?!? I have never seen Rahab run in the four years we have known her. Most of the time, I have seen her on her back either at home or in the hospital. She gets to the front and says that God has healed her and she has been swimming every day this week for 2 km. which is basically the equivalent of a mile a day. Our people were shouting to see her RUN up there. For all that He has done, we THANK HIM.

There are still many lost souls in Botswana and many young Christians who need to grow in Him and learn to make wise choices for their lives. We are counting on your prayers.

Reaching the Unreached
The Workmans

The "but nots" of our heart

It has been a while since I blogged. Thank you so much for the many of you that have emailed or called to check on me and mine. I am so grateful for friends like you!
Over the past few months my family has been through quite a battle …one that is not over yet. However, I would like to share with you something that the Lord has given to me as a promise to cling to during this time.

This wonderful truth first came from Eric Mason, a pastor in inner city Philadelphia. He preached at our church a few weeks ago and since that time the Lord has brought his words back to my mind again and again; and, as He always does when he wants us to learn something, He has affirmed them in several other situations.
Eric was preaching on brokenness….something I will share more details of in an upcoming blog…but one point that he made that was so striking to me was the “but nots” of the Bible. For example in 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.” And in looking at the life of Job, the Lord allowed the enemy to do whatever he wanted to Job, “but not” take his life. Eric put it so poignantly when he said the “but nots” of the Word are the backstage passes to our soul that only the Lord has issue and access too. Beautiful!

The Lord may use the enemy and his attack as a conduit to His will, but He is still in control and will only allow the enemy to go so far.
This promise of the Word has been so incredibly true and perfect in my heart these past few months.
The recent release of Mercy Me’s “Bring the Rain” also came at an apropos time. I will leave you with the lyrics:
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

Faith

Light in the clouds
Originally uploaded by Tigpan

Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted in spite of your changing moods.

C.S. Lewis (1898-1963)