What God showed me this morning.....

I am reading through I Kings. I love the old testiment once you get past all the laws and begats. :) With all that has been going on in my life, I have been crying out to God, waiting for a big booming voice to answer....

Elijah has just totally owned the prophets of Baal by pouring water all over his sacrifice and having it consumed by fire. He has had one victory after the other....mountain tops if you will....then he gets word that Jezebel wants to kill him and he cowers, runs, and hides.

God finds him hiding in a cave (not that God had to look HE knew right where he was) and said "What are you doing hiding in this cave?" (amanda's paraphrase) to which Elijah answered, "No body likes me, every body hates me, guess I'll go eat worms....all I did was do what YOU told me too God." (again amanda's paraphrase) Then God says go stand out there on the mountain I've got something to say.....

I Kings 19:11, 12 " A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before GOD, but GOD wasn't to be found in the wind; after the wind an earthquake, but GOD wasn't in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but GOD wasn't in the fire; and after the fire a gentle and quiet whisper.

My storms have come and gone, now I quietly wait for a whisper.

Top 10 Reasons to Love me

I had to do this exercise for a book I am reading and was amazed at how difficult it can be to come up with 10. As we are told to be humble all of our lives, sometimes we miss out on the one person that is truely special in our lives....ourselves! God made us! He LOVES us! and here are 10 reasons why we should love us too! I challenge you to make 10 for yourself. You will be laughing at the end.

(BTW, YES I realize there are more than 10....ha ha ha Humility is one of them!)

10. I am a generally happy person and will do anything within reason to make you the same.
9. I am loyal to a fault, will love you back fiercely and never let you down on purpose
8. All great things begin with the letter "A"
7. I see beauty all around me...even when it is hard
6. I cook a mean pan of brownies!
5. I love to cuddle
4. I will be honest with you even if it is going to hurt me
3. I seek to know all the words to your life song and sing them back to you when you lose direction.
2. I believe in helping you find and accomplish your dreams
1. and the number one reason to love me.....well...I am Amanda!

Brooke outdid me

Of course....So I came up with a few more....
I once had all my friends convinced I was addicted to Asprin
I have an entire dance to the song "Have Mercy" by the Judds
I charged my parents to see me in concert.in their OWN living room.
I had a "Hundred Acre Woods" on a 3 acre property
After my 1st kiss I said "Yuck don't ever do that again"
Every time I spend time with my friend Brooke I get a full ab workout from laughing so hard!!

*****************************************************************************
BTW...these were her 6 things...how could I possibly even try to beat these?!
Once my arm was swallowed by a mad pelican.
My best friend threw up because I was so ugly.
Scott put dog food between the cheese and cracker and then fed it to me.
George W. Bush waved at me Monday morning.
In college, I tried to return laundry detergent for cash.
I went on a blind date for Sarah Underwood once and told him I was her--she didn't know.

Weird things about me

Weird Things About Me
(yes I do realize there are more than 6, but this posting only called for 6.)

1. I love a package of new white ankle socks, so soft and clean. YUM!
2. I have never sucked my thumb or a pacifier or needed a blankie, but I DO suck on the roof of my mouth and twirl my hair.
3. I have to sleep with a pillow under my head and on either side of me.
4. I hate peanuts, but LOVE peanut butter.
5. I cannot handle it when people cut their fingernails in front of me….it is like scraping their nails on a chalkboard, I come unglued!
6. When I am deathly ill, rather than being in bed I would rather sleep outside. I believe the fresh air and sun heals.

Sad

Last year it was a beautiful spring day and I was on my way home from Abilene where I had been for Easter. I remember clearly at what point in the journey that I was when my phone rang. It was my friend Candy telling me that our friend Karen’s mom had lost her battle with cancer.

I remember being sad.
I was sad for Karen, she was so close to her mom and I had watched from a distance as she LOVED her mom through those last few months. I didn’t really know Karen well, but I knew she was beautiful and I wanted to remember her example.

A week later, I would get another phone call. Another mother of one I held dear was in a fatal car accident. Another funeral. More grief. Another soul that God wanted, so we would have to give up for now. I did not know this beautiful woman, but she was dear to those who were dear to me and I was sad.

A few short days later, I got the phone call I had been dreading. Mrs. Virginia Moreno, my instructor’s mom, finally lost her battle with cancer and went home to be with Jesus. This time I knew her. I was sad, heart hurting, God questioning, sad. Why would God take this woman, she was so beautiful and so full of life. I mourned that day, and have mourned many days since. The 1st testing at our school without her there….the 1st tournament that she wasn’t ringside…..the day I got my black belt, she was one of the few that I longed to be there that wasn’t. I didn’t know her very long but I loved her!

The common thread here, was that in 3 short weeks we had 3 funerals. A family rose up from the ashes of that mourning and became strong. For me it was a place where finally I could call home.

Today was a similar type of funeral feeling. I AM SAD! I feel as though I have lost a part of me that I can never have back. I have lost a Tae kwon do school, a man I counted among my friends, families that I love to be a part of, a part of my life that was for me so very sacred and dear. I have lost a home.

My heart is hurting. I have lost……. I am lost. What could I have done that might have changed things?

I weep as I sit here, and mourn for what might have been. I mourn for a family I have lost.

Why? What did I do to deserve how I feel? I loved, I was loyal, I was faithful, and I am now betrayed.

I am sad, heart hurting, not sleeping, tears of sorrow……sad.

Writer's urge

Fresh sheet of paper
Pen in hand.
Can’t resist the urge.
Pen hovers, words suspended
The World awaits.

me

Sometimes I am deep and sometimes I am shallow...either way...I am still me.

I put words up for others to read...if you like them say so...if you don't that is fine too...they are still my words....still my feelings....still me.

Tried and true

My mom sent me this....and in light of my life since November....I think it might just apply to me. Also just a side note that you will understand after having read this...."Tis so sweet" is one of my favorite songs I sing it all the time.

Tried and True
Betsy Childs

I've often been asked the question, "Why does God test us?" This is a natural thing to ask, whether prompted by the biblical story of Abraham and Isaac or a personal test facing the questioner. "Doesn't God know everything already?" we wonder. "If so, why would He need to test us?" Consider, first of all, that when God tests us, it is not for the purposes of his own knowledge, but for our knowledge and the knowledge of the one whom the Bible refers to as "the Accuser of the brethren."

We see this in the book of Job; Satan accused Job of only serving God because God allowed him to prosper. God removed the hedge of protection He had put around Job to prove his accuser wrong. After the test, not only did Satan know that Job's faith was grounded in more than God's blessing, Job knew it also.

The testing of God became more understandable to me when I realized that one of the synonyms for "to test" is "to prove." God doesn't test us to see if we will fail. He tests us when He knows that we can succeed; He tests us in order to prove us. Imagine that you've built a table. As you show your handiwork to your friend, he casts doubt on the sturdiness of the table. You know that the table is sturdy because you made it. To prove it to your friend, you sit on top of it, demonstrating that it can hold your weight. You are not testing the table because you have a question about its sturdiness; rather, you are testing it to prove its sturdiness to the doubter.

Still, sometimes it is hard to see where the kindness of God fits into his testing. I believe the key to this is understanding that any time God tests us, He is issuing an invitation for us to test Him. God doesn't want us to try to weather life's trials in our own strength. A prime example of this is the test Paul and his companions experienced in Asia. As he describes it, "We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us" (2 Corinthians 1:8b-10).

In other words, they came to a test, felt that their strength would fail, and were compelled to rely upon God. And God proved Himself equal to their need. Here is another promise God gives for any test we face: "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it" (1 Corinthians 10:13).
This doesn't mean that when we feel like we can't bear a temptation, God must be giving us the go-ahead. It means that when temptation threatens to overcome us, we must test God by looking for the way out that He has provided. It will always be there if we look for it.

The words of the familiar hymn "'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus" were written by a woman named Louisa Stead. Stead and her four-year old daughter lost their husband and father when he drowned off Long Island trying to rescue a little boy. Years after this severe trial, Louisa Stead recognized that God was the one who had repeatedly passed the test by being faithful to her; she was able to write, "Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him/ How I've proved him o'er and o'er." If, when we are tested, we respond by testing and proving the faithfulness of God, taking Him at his word, we will be able to say confidently with Job, "When he has tested me, I will come forth as gold."

Changing

If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we are not really living. Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.
– Gail Sheehy

Valley's and Promises

I have just come out of a wonderful weekend! A weekend of getting away! Here is what I came away with.....
The Lord promises us Mountaintops....where we will commune with Him and life could not be better....and He promises that we will have valleys....days when we feel we cannot go on one more step....
However....PRAISE THE LORD! It takes two mountain tops to make a valley....the PROMISE....with God there will always be more Mountain tops than valleys.
I was able to spend some sweet reunion time with several of my friends. Three of them where my dear friends The Martins (http://www.the-martins.com/). They were in concert this weekend...and sang one of my favorites...here are the lyrics.


THE PROMISE
I never said that I would give you silver or gold.
Or that you would never feel the fire or shiver in cold…
But I did say "You would never walk through this world alone."
And I did say." Don't make this world your home"

I never said that fear wouldn't find you in the night,
Or that loneliness was something you'd never have to fight
But I did say "I'd be right there by your side"
And I did say "I'll always help you fight."

Cause you know I made a Promise that I intend to keep
My Grace will be sufficient in every time of need…
My love will be the anchor that you can hold on to…
This is the Promise I've made to you.

I never said that friends would never turn their backs on you
Or that the world around you wouldn't see you as fool
But I did say "Like me, you'll surely be despised"
And I did say "My ways confound the wise."

I didn't say that you'd never taste the bitter kiss of death
Or have to walk through chilly Jordan to enter into rest
But I did say I'd be waiting right on the other side.
And I did say I'll dry every tear you've cried.

Cause you know I made Promise that I've prepared a place
And someday sooner than you think you'll see me face to face
And you'll sing with the angels and a countless multitude.
This is the Promise, this is the Promise I've made to you.

So just keep on walking, don't turn to the left or right
And in the midst of darkness, let this be your light
That hell can't separate us and your gonna make it through
This is the Promise, this is the Promise....I've made to you.