I am packing today. I move from this apartment home of a year and a half to a new one that will be all my own. Why when there is change do many of the old doubts and fears come to surface? Perhaps a stirring up of dust, an unsettling of what longs to just be settled and stay put.

I am struggling with the "be still and know". It is so hard for be to "be still", even harder somehow to have the faith to "know". Which brings to be the question...Why when He has proven faithful time and again do we continue to struggle with the things we know to be truth? He has proven faithful time and again with my finances and yet, as I sit here typing somewhere my subconscious brain takes over and I worry about things that are financially completely out of my control.

I suppose my moving every couple of years is actually stereotypical for a TCK. I suppose, it is something that must be done. To rummage through what is in my closet and evaluate if I need things I haven't used in years. To rid myself of things that simply weigh me down and hold me back. To start fresh in a new place, new smells, new sights, new sounds, new ways to see Jesus in the little things.

I am so in shock and awe right now I don't have words

This from the associate press:
PETA asks Ben & Jerry's to use breast milk

MONTPELIER, Vt. (AP) — Ice cream made from breast milk? That's what the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wants Ben & Jerry's Homemade Ice Cream to consider making.

The Virginia-based nonprofit group sent a letter to company co-founders Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield on Tuesday asking them to use human breast milk instead of cow's milk in their products.

PETA said the health of consumers and cows would benefit from the switch.

Ben & Jerry's spokesman Rob Michalak said the company applauds PETA's creative approach to bring attention to an issue, but believes that a mother's milk is best used by a child.


***************
Yes please, lets hook up HUMANS to machines, rather than allow those poor pitiful COWS to suffer any more indignaty! WHAT! There are so many words that are not appropriate for me to be thinking right now, much less put on a blog! Flaming Weirdos!

A re-thinking of life as I know it

I recently got rid of my cable...yes I felt that intake of a gasp as those words were read....
But here is where the Lord is leading me right now.
Time spent alone in front of TV or with TV on each week = 3 hours a night 5 nights a week 15HRS
Time spent with Jesus = 1 hour a day 5 days a week - 5 hours (hmm that doesn't add up)
Time spent with friends pouring into each others lives - 2 hours (WHAT!)
Time spent in ministry helping change the lives of others - 4 hours
Ok so all of the other time together still does not add up to the amount of time I was wasting watching TV.

Then I began to add up some other things...
Cable per month $44
Sponsoring a child through Compassion international $32
Missionary friends that could use an extra $50 in support- numerous

So I got rid of cable. I won't miss anything but garbage for the most part anyway... almost every show out there compromises my walk in some way anyway.
Instead I get to use that money towards better things, that time towards the enriching of others lives....I don't know if this is a forever decision, but it is definately a for now decision....life is too short so spend hours alone watchin....

In the words of T.S. Elliot The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still feel lonely.

What else will He change in me if I let Him? Oh the amazing possibilities!

Some of the greatest leaders of worship, all of whom have impacted my life in one song or another...on stage together...amazing!

I am not the same.....

for I have seen the moon from the other side of the world.

McCain's Daughter

So far all I have seen is the epitome of class! :)
and she is a blogger!

Reasons why....

Ok so I have written quite a bit late about "stay tuned for more news" and then in the last post shared that I was getting serious about my Mary Kay. Let me share a little about the reasons why so you can hear my heart and know more how to pray for me. My sweet faithful readers are such prayer warriors and every step of my journey the past few years, the smooth sailing and the bumps in the road have been bathed in prayer...something I can never hope to repay, and something for which I will be grateful for eternity.

Reasons why:
#1 and most dear to my heart...ministry opportunity.
Every year at seminar they bring in international directors from one of the 30 countries where Mary Kay is sold. This year the week I went the international guests were from all parts of Asia. Quietly in the depths of my heart the Lord spoke and said "You cannot walk freely into these places with a Bible, but you can walk right in with a starter kit....but you can't take a starter kit internationally without being a director." Can you imagine, as a director I can go anywhere in the world and teach women how to enrich their lives and walk into homes with some cleanser and moisturizer...and in the midst of that get to share Jesus! How powerful is that! Even I sit here and type it out to you I get tears in my eyes.
#2. Financial freedom. Working for myself and controlling my own life and time. This year at my church, we sent out several missionary families and as a church body will go on both international and domestic missional trips and opportunities. That is my heart beat, but I cannot take all the time I want off work to head over to Sudan, or to help develop the missions training manual or even to go spend 10 days in Kenya. Not to mention being able to head over and help my mom and dad in Botswana for a few weeks if I wanted to. I can with this business. It affords me the financial freedom to say, I am spending my time doing this and doing that.
#3. Right here in Dallas, TX I have the ability to do both of the things mentioned above. I have the opportunity to spend time and minister to women that in a normal day to day I might never even encounter, but through a skin care class, or a guest event, I get to meet them, make them feel better about themselves, and get to share the Lord with them. How powerful is that! This morning at a city wide guest event that we have every month in the Dallas area, a woman won highest sales for the month. When she found out she was #1 she started crying...her testimony was this. She said she always thought she was a nobody who did nothing, and after being in Mary Kay for 3 weeks she was a somebody. How incredible is that. Plus the name of Jesus was spoken freely and often among this group of incredible women...what a great place to take someone who is not a believer who would never darken the door of a church.

That is my heartbeat right now. I know this is a journey God has called me on. He has been calling me for a while and I have chosen to walk in the mediocre, however....no longer. So when you wonder if I have fallen off the face of the earth or why I choose to say no to some fun activity for a while. It is because I am choosing to take this time to build my business to where I know the Lord has called me to be. It will take a little bit of work (I have found that the Lord only blesses the work of your hands, if you are doing work...fancy that!), and a lot of prayer and encouragement. But (ok here it is on a public blog!) I will be a director by December of this year.

Thanks for loving me, for believing in me, for helping me reach my dream. Please continue to pray as I walk in obedience towards what He is drawing out in me to do!