"Jesus never gets tired of me being broken. He loves that about me even!"
How amazing!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Tunnel
Tunnel
Originally uploaded by Tigpan
You changed my world, When You came to me.
You drove a passion, In my soul down deep,
Lord, to follow You in everything.
I don't want to go somewhere
If I know that You're not there,
'Cause I know that me without You is a lie.
And I don't want to walk that road,Be a million miles from home,
Cause my heart needs to be where You are.
So I don't want to go.
So come whatever, I'll stick with You.
I'll walk You'll lead me, Call me crazy or a fool,
For forever I promise You...
That I don't want to go somewhere
If I know that You're not there,
'Cause I know that me without You is a lie.
And I don't want to walk that road,
Be a million miles from home,
'Cause my heart needs to be where You are.
So I don't want to go
Without Your touch
Without Your love
Filling me like an ocean.
For Your grace is enough
Enough for me.
Never want to go somewhere
If I know that You're not there..
Cause my heart needs to be where You are.
-words and music by Avalon
Friday, April 25, 2008
Sometimes....
.....I hate that the perfect answer is wait...having faith that "He who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it." Trust in another and know that God's timing (not my timing) is perfect.
...the warrior is a child who just needs a place to hide for a little while. (thank you Twila Paris!)
...those you believe are worth fighting for don't believe it of themselves, so everything you can do is pray that God will give the the vision to see.
...even though it is blazingly obvious that other people's struggles are much bigger, yours feel insurmountable.
...tomorrow doesn't bring sun but rainstorms.
....you justhave to get away and let God move in you from a different vantage point....so I last night I booked a flight here....I leave May 7 and will chronicle my journey here.
Isn't it wonderful that
Always....
His promises are faithful and true!
...the warrior is a child who just needs a place to hide for a little while. (thank you Twila Paris!)
...those you believe are worth fighting for don't believe it of themselves, so everything you can do is pray that God will give the the vision to see.
...even though it is blazingly obvious that other people's struggles are much bigger, yours feel insurmountable.
...tomorrow doesn't bring sun but rainstorms.
....you justhave to get away and let God move in you from a different vantage point....so I last night I booked a flight here....I leave May 7 and will chronicle my journey here.
Isn't it wonderful that
Always....
His promises are faithful and true!
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Totally Random Thoughts
Do not expect this blog to have any rhyme, reason or flow....
I love the person of my boss! I learn from her daily and cannot even begin to express how thankful I am that God brought her into my life! She inspires me, makes me laugh out loud, and teaches me daily.
I filed my taxes on April 15th. I have never waited (read procrastinated) this long. I sat in a mile long line at the post office at 10:30 that night and handed my envelop to a postal worker who was lined up at the curb to take it. Hope that was really a postal worker. By the way, another GREAT advantage to Mary Kay...my tax deductions....my return will be NICE!
I miss my family in Bots. It is high time that I saw them so if anyone can figure how to make the Atlantic shrink for a day or so I am very open to suggestions.
I love soccer! Go Badgers! We lose, but we lose pretty! You girls are great!
I cannot imagine how in the world I went through life with the women in my home group. I did not know the joys of being a part of a community of young women! Had I known before I would have definitely not waited a year to find them!
I have the coolest kinesilogist/chiropractor on the planet. Not sure I ever want to go to any other doctor ever. He knows so much it is amazing. Remedy for allergies. Soak feet in a very hot bath with dry mustard powder.....or vicks rub on feet with socks and go to sleep....also honey (made locally so it has local pollen allergins) and lemon. All three work like a charm.
Puppies just make the world better....
I think that all of current candidates for president of this here United States, need a spanking, their mouths washed out with soap, a time out (for a long time - till like November), and to stick their noses in the corner...in that order. or maybe we should just fire them and start over.
I am craving to get on a plane and go somewhere, take lots of pictures and sit by a beach...
Dallas is #2 worst city in the nation for allergies this year.....come visit!
Ok, I think that is all for now. So I will leave you with first ever Dumb Blond Man Joke!
An Irishman , a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building." The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too." The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too." The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well. At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife who said . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."Don't look at me. The idiot made his own lunch."
I love the person of my boss! I learn from her daily and cannot even begin to express how thankful I am that God brought her into my life! She inspires me, makes me laugh out loud, and teaches me daily.
I filed my taxes on April 15th. I have never waited (read procrastinated) this long. I sat in a mile long line at the post office at 10:30 that night and handed my envelop to a postal worker who was lined up at the curb to take it. Hope that was really a postal worker. By the way, another GREAT advantage to Mary Kay...my tax deductions....my return will be NICE!I miss my family in Bots. It is high time that I saw them so if anyone can figure how to make the Atlantic shrink for a day or so I am very open to suggestions.
I love soccer! Go Badgers! We lose, but we lose pretty! You girls are great!
I cannot imagine how in the world I went through life with the women in my home group. I did not know the joys of being a part of a community of young women! Had I known before I would have definitely not waited a year to find them!
I have the coolest kinesilogist/chiropractor on the planet. Not sure I ever want to go to any other doctor ever. He knows so much it is amazing. Remedy for allergies. Soak feet in a very hot bath with dry mustard powder.....or vicks rub on feet with socks and go to sleep....also honey (made locally so it has local pollen allergins) and lemon. All three work like a charm.
Puppies just make the world better....
I think that all of current candidates for president of this here United States, need a spanking, their mouths washed out with soap, a time out (for a long time - till like November), and to stick their noses in the corner...in that order. or maybe we should just fire them and start over.
I am craving to get on a plane and go somewhere, take lots of pictures and sit by a beach...
Dallas is #2 worst city in the nation for allergies this year.....come visit!
Ok, I think that is all for now. So I will leave you with first ever Dumb Blond Man Joke!
An Irishman , a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building." The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too." The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too." The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well. At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife who said . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."Don't look at me. The idiot made his own lunch."
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Racism Personified
My friend Tim and I used to start every story about events that happened to us by no fault of our own....by saying "There I was minding my own business...." The other person immediately knew that this story was going to be quite on the entertaining side of things and probably be a comedic tragedy of some sort.
So, there I was in the dermatologist office waiting room...minding my own business. I was flipping through Family Circle or some such "women's" magazine that I would only read if I was in a doctor's office...waiting for the nurse to call my name.
In the background I can hear CNN spinning and weaving its particular slant on the news stories that it decided were going to be the "top stories of the day". I am ignoring it as I often do because having worked in the media I know that most of the story line is simply reporter dribble anyway.
On comes the "TOP Story" about Obama's preacher. Now I am not one to discuss politics. Do I have my opinion...Yes...do I want to hear yours...not really...but if I have to that is ok. As long as you realize that it is YOURS, and do not spend the time telling me why mine is wrong. That being said, I am not here to give a long drawn out opinion of Obama and his campaign. Nor am I here to justify or crucify his pastor for comments made. That Obama and his preacher and the subject of racism was on TV, is simply the background information to this story.
In the waiting room with me is a woman of color and her husband. I would say "African American" but those who know me well...DO know my opinion on that particular phrase (which happens to be that it is a title only given to those who deserve it)...and this woman was about to find out the same!
****Also I want to take moment right here to say that I abhor racism and bigotry of all types, I have friends of every color and socio-economic background...and I am only racist towards "Trash" of all colors and socio-economic backgrounds...and towards bigots****
So this woman, who just so happens to have darker skin than mine begins to give her opinion re: the story on television to her husband. How that it is about time that racism was brought up as it has never gone away, and needs to be brought to light, and that "white" media was slanting this story (nevermind the FACT that the person reporting was also of black descent). She went on to say that if we really wanted to know what he said that we needed to listen to the entire sermon and not just the snippits that we were given on CNN..to that point and that point alone I was in agreement. I do believe that if one has to have an opinion especially on such a controversial topic, that the more educated one can be the better.
So on and on she goes talking to her husband and just bashing white people right and left. I am quietly sitting there pretending I am not listening to her.
Her husband gets called back to the office leaving just her and me in the waiting room. I put down the magazine and accidentally catch her eye as I lean over to put it back on the table. She says, "So what do you think of all of this." Having not listened to the sermon and in truth not really paid attention to the media storm around it I let her know that I really could not give her an educated opinion on the subject. That was, in her mind, the wrong answer. Actually I think any answer I would have given her would have been the wrong one to tell the truth.
So she says "You know as a young WHITE woman you need to take note of this, racism is strong and active in our country. People are judged by their color of skin and their socio-economic status and are forced down by WHITE conservatives to stay right where they are. Civil rights are just a theory that our government would like us to believe exists. Then she goes on to tell me that why she clings to the title "African-american" because "her people" were stripped of their culture when they were taken from the shores of Africa. And how down through history their titles have changed from Nigger, to Negro, to Colored, to Black to finally something they could live with...African American!
Now at this point, I have just about had it. Because she has just done to me exactly what she accuses White people of doing to her. So I say, "I am not trying to be disrespectful to you at all. But I have a couple of questions for you, first of all why is it that I am 'white' and you are 'black' but Asians are called Asian and Mexicans are Mexicans. Why aren't they "yellow" and "brown"? " She thought that was a good question. Then I said and "Why is it that you looked at my age and the color of my skin and made an automatic judgement on me?"
I was just getting started...in a very calm voice I said...."Again, not meaning any disrespect at all...however, since you took the time to disrespect me I just thought I would set a couple of things straight. For your limited information, you looked at my skin, my clothes and my current location and made a judgement....I actually was raised in Africa...and though I hold an American passport, it is still the continent and culture that I call home. My family has lived there for over 25 years and we consider ourselves to be very "African American". Until I moved to this United States I had no idea what color my skin was or my socio-economic status. I have sat in the huts of those who have nothing more than the basic necessities of life, yet because of their love for Jesus have much more that the majority of the people who are too lazy to work so suck everything they can out of government help here in the US. I never thought of myself as better than them or more than them. They work hard and put most of there "descendents" in South Dallas and other parts of our fair land to absolute shame! If an adult in the village told me what to do I obeyed. They were my elders, my equals. I have sat in the home of the brother of the President of Kenya and because I was child I served the adults just as the other children did. I was given no special privileges because of skin color, I was their equal. My best friends were black and brown and I was white. That is what we called each other not in a degrading way, but simply because it was fact.
Ma'am, racism goes both ways. You looked at me and made a judgement call. However, let me explain to you about my "lost culture"...I am American born white girl, who descendants are native American, Irish, German and who knows what else - I spent all of the formative years of my life in Kenya, Africa where I left behind half of my heart - I have lived in several states and in Hong Kong - where another piece of my heart was left behind. Please tell me what culture to put in front of the name "American" to identify me. So I mean no disrespect at all when I tell you that I have much more African running through my veins than you ever will, and that I very seriously doubt you would last more than two days in most of the places I have spent my life..."
At this point, I have not raised my voice, or stopped for breath...and as I stop now the woman has nothing she can say. She sputters out something like "Well you are a mutt of cultures aren't you?" (please explain how that is not an insult)
At that exact moment the nurse, a beautiful African American woman graciously opened the door and called my name....
So, there I was in the dermatologist office waiting room...minding my own business. I was flipping through Family Circle or some such "women's" magazine that I would only read if I was in a doctor's office...waiting for the nurse to call my name.
In the background I can hear CNN spinning and weaving its particular slant on the news stories that it decided were going to be the "top stories of the day". I am ignoring it as I often do because having worked in the media I know that most of the story line is simply reporter dribble anyway.
On comes the "TOP Story" about Obama's preacher. Now I am not one to discuss politics. Do I have my opinion...Yes...do I want to hear yours...not really...but if I have to that is ok. As long as you realize that it is YOURS, and do not spend the time telling me why mine is wrong. That being said, I am not here to give a long drawn out opinion of Obama and his campaign. Nor am I here to justify or crucify his pastor for comments made. That Obama and his preacher and the subject of racism was on TV, is simply the background information to this story.
In the waiting room with me is a woman of color and her husband. I would say "African American" but those who know me well...DO know my opinion on that particular phrase (which happens to be that it is a title only given to those who deserve it)...and this woman was about to find out the same!
****Also I want to take moment right here to say that I abhor racism and bigotry of all types, I have friends of every color and socio-economic background...and I am only racist towards "Trash" of all colors and socio-economic backgrounds...and towards bigots****
So this woman, who just so happens to have darker skin than mine begins to give her opinion re: the story on television to her husband. How that it is about time that racism was brought up as it has never gone away, and needs to be brought to light, and that "white" media was slanting this story (nevermind the FACT that the person reporting was also of black descent). She went on to say that if we really wanted to know what he said that we needed to listen to the entire sermon and not just the snippits that we were given on CNN..to that point and that point alone I was in agreement. I do believe that if one has to have an opinion especially on such a controversial topic, that the more educated one can be the better.
So on and on she goes talking to her husband and just bashing white people right and left. I am quietly sitting there pretending I am not listening to her.
Her husband gets called back to the office leaving just her and me in the waiting room. I put down the magazine and accidentally catch her eye as I lean over to put it back on the table. She says, "So what do you think of all of this." Having not listened to the sermon and in truth not really paid attention to the media storm around it I let her know that I really could not give her an educated opinion on the subject. That was, in her mind, the wrong answer. Actually I think any answer I would have given her would have been the wrong one to tell the truth.
So she says "You know as a young WHITE woman you need to take note of this, racism is strong and active in our country. People are judged by their color of skin and their socio-economic status and are forced down by WHITE conservatives to stay right where they are. Civil rights are just a theory that our government would like us to believe exists. Then she goes on to tell me that why she clings to the title "African-american" because "her people" were stripped of their culture when they were taken from the shores of Africa. And how down through history their titles have changed from Nigger, to Negro, to Colored, to Black to finally something they could live with...African American!
Now at this point, I have just about had it. Because she has just done to me exactly what she accuses White people of doing to her. So I say, "I am not trying to be disrespectful to you at all. But I have a couple of questions for you, first of all why is it that I am 'white' and you are 'black' but Asians are called Asian and Mexicans are Mexicans. Why aren't they "yellow" and "brown"? " She thought that was a good question. Then I said and "Why is it that you looked at my age and the color of my skin and made an automatic judgement on me?"
I was just getting started...in a very calm voice I said...."Again, not meaning any disrespect at all...however, since you took the time to disrespect me I just thought I would set a couple of things straight. For your limited information, you looked at my skin, my clothes and my current location and made a judgement....I actually was raised in Africa...and though I hold an American passport, it is still the continent and culture that I call home. My family has lived there for over 25 years and we consider ourselves to be very "African American". Until I moved to this United States I had no idea what color my skin was or my socio-economic status. I have sat in the huts of those who have nothing more than the basic necessities of life, yet because of their love for Jesus have much more that the majority of the people who are too lazy to work so suck everything they can out of government help here in the US. I never thought of myself as better than them or more than them. They work hard and put most of there "descendents" in South Dallas and other parts of our fair land to absolute shame! If an adult in the village told me what to do I obeyed. They were my elders, my equals. I have sat in the home of the brother of the President of Kenya and because I was child I served the adults just as the other children did. I was given no special privileges because of skin color, I was their equal. My best friends were black and brown and I was white. That is what we called each other not in a degrading way, but simply because it was fact.
Ma'am, racism goes both ways. You looked at me and made a judgement call. However, let me explain to you about my "lost culture"...I am American born white girl, who descendants are native American, Irish, German and who knows what else - I spent all of the formative years of my life in Kenya, Africa where I left behind half of my heart - I have lived in several states and in Hong Kong - where another piece of my heart was left behind. Please tell me what culture to put in front of the name "American" to identify me. So I mean no disrespect at all when I tell you that I have much more African running through my veins than you ever will, and that I very seriously doubt you would last more than two days in most of the places I have spent my life..."
At this point, I have not raised my voice, or stopped for breath...and as I stop now the woman has nothing she can say. She sputters out something like "Well you are a mutt of cultures aren't you?" (please explain how that is not an insult)
At that exact moment the nurse, a beautiful African American woman graciously opened the door and called my name....
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