The past few months have been kind of rough for my family. Some of you know the details, other's don't but are still praying. For both sets of people, I am thankful. Not every day is bad, but everyday is uptight with the thought of what might occur within that day to send everything spiraling down again.
I am learning to trust. Looking back on some posts from last summer I realize that what God was teaching me during that time was simply a stepping stone for the trusting, waiting and obedience that would be required of me just a year later.
Last night was another long night. At times I am not sure what awakens me at 3 am, but I have learned like Samuel of old to say "Speak, for your servant is listening." It has taken me a while to get to this point as I did not have one as wise as Eli to instruct me to do so.
I am learning in these wee hours of the morning to pray. I am learning to pray scripture, to ask for miracles, to boldly come before the throne, to be sensitive to a dream that I might just have awakened from and to lift people and their known struggles very specifically to the Father, to pray for myself and seek His face.
Today I am weary. Not just becuase I have been up since 4 am, but I am weary of the lies that the enemy tells that we so easily believe, and in so believing hurt ourselves and those around us. Our lives can be so futile, a deep rut of running after what we think is the best for us, when all it takes for pure joy is stopping, taking a breath and saying "God, what do You want for me."
This morning after a long night of tossing and turning, reading, kneeling, and seeking, God brought to mind (and to my playlist)one of my very favorite songs sung by the Gaither Vocal Band, the lyrics are listed below. It describes in picture perfect rhyme my life and the lives of several I know right now that are just pursuing the dust and lonely winds of this world, and ends with a promise so simple and true "Just Jesus ONLY will NEVER fail!" Praise His Name!
I'll worship only at the feet of Jesus
GVB
I went to visit the shrine of plenty,
But found its store-rooms all filled with dust,
I bowed at alters of gold and silver,
But as I knelt there they turned to rust.
So I'll worship only at the feet of Jesus,
His cup alone, my holy grail,
There'll be no other gods before Him,
Just Jesus only will never fail.
The call of fortune made me a pilgrim,
To journey to fame's promised heights,
But as I climbed the promise faded,
And wind blew lonely all through the night.
Just desert dust and empty shadows,
All promises that turned to lies,
The gods of earth fail and betray me,
You alone are Truth and Life.
So I'll worship only at the feet of Jesus,
His cup alone, my holy grail,
There'll be no other gods before Him,
Just Jesus only will never fail.
Just Jesus only will never fail!
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Bigotry and my hatred thereof
The fact that this post follows the peaceful post of "Grace" is just flat irony, but whatever.
I have promised this story to several so here we go....
As many of you can attest to I am pretty much an easy going person to the world in general.
I do my best to see things through other's point of view, am fairly easy going in traffic, allow others to cut in front of me in line without having to justify my position on this earth, I take most idiosyncrasies with a grain of salt and keep going. However, as some of you have experienced any form of bigotry is going to make my blood pressure rise and will usually result in a verbal taking down of said bigot.
Wednesday was a perfect case in point. I will start my story with the words of my friend Tim...
"There I was minding my own business...
in line at Petsmart purchasing food for king of the apartment, Picasso. The cashier is an unattractive woman who I would judge to be in her mid-40's, with definately mental reason to be a cashier at the age of 40 (not that cashiers at 40 are bad people who knows I may be a cashier at 40, but you get the picture.)....I will leave it at that not wishing to be unkind. *smirks
This cashier is checking out the person in line in front of me, so I am patiently waiting and half listening in to the conversation that they are having and half thinking other random thoughts. My ears come on high alert however when she mentions "China" so I turn and begin listening with both ears to the conversation being played out. This cashier is going on and on about the horrible work that the Chinese do, and how we have trusted them to make toys for our children and now look they are trying to kill us off by putting lead paint on them. She continues on at how the Chinese are stealing our jobs and how horrible and cheap their products are, blah blah blah. She gives an example about how she bought a pair of shoes once that were made in in China and they fell apart after wearing them once (I am thinking to myself if you ever bought a pair of shoes at Payless you for sure have worn more than one "made in china" and probably the ones you have on now are from there as well).....She ends her tirade with the phrase "down with China." The person checking out seems a bit uncomfortable with the conversation as a whole, says..."sure"...and leaves.
My blood pressure is pretty close to boiling at this point and I am thinking that one word from this woman to me about China is going to send me over the edge!!! So she asks how i am I say "Fine." -through gritted teeth and stand there as she checks out my wares, silently counting to 10 then 20 then 30 trying to calm my outraged self down.
Finally, as I sign my sales slip I say...
"Ma'am, I have a comment about your conversation just now on China...."
I take a deep breath and off I go...
"If you were to remove everything around you that was not in some way shape or form manufactured in China you would be standing on a cement floor - the cement from which BTW came from Mexico, you would not have a car to drive and you would be naked!! The people to blame for the current crisis in Chinese manufacturing plants are not the chinese workers who are slaving around the clock making less than minimum wage; but the greedy American consumer who wants everything right now and wants it "cheap." Pressure from parents who believe that their children should have so many toys they cannot walk in their rooms causes American managers to put pressure on said manufacturers resulting in unfortunate choices made by factories to try to make any profit at all. So before you decide to go off about the Chinese people next time, remember that there could be someone standing nearby who actually has people there that he/she loves, and.....get an education."
With that I walked out of the store. Pretty sure she is still standing there stuck on the word "naked".
The End.
I have promised this story to several so here we go....
As many of you can attest to I am pretty much an easy going person to the world in general.
I do my best to see things through other's point of view, am fairly easy going in traffic, allow others to cut in front of me in line without having to justify my position on this earth, I take most idiosyncrasies with a grain of salt and keep going. However, as some of you have experienced any form of bigotry is going to make my blood pressure rise and will usually result in a verbal taking down of said bigot.
Wednesday was a perfect case in point. I will start my story with the words of my friend Tim...
"There I was minding my own business...
in line at Petsmart purchasing food for king of the apartment, Picasso. The cashier is an unattractive woman who I would judge to be in her mid-40's, with definately mental reason to be a cashier at the age of 40 (not that cashiers at 40 are bad people who knows I may be a cashier at 40, but you get the picture.)....I will leave it at that not wishing to be unkind. *smirks
This cashier is checking out the person in line in front of me, so I am patiently waiting and half listening in to the conversation that they are having and half thinking other random thoughts. My ears come on high alert however when she mentions "China" so I turn and begin listening with both ears to the conversation being played out. This cashier is going on and on about the horrible work that the Chinese do, and how we have trusted them to make toys for our children and now look they are trying to kill us off by putting lead paint on them. She continues on at how the Chinese are stealing our jobs and how horrible and cheap their products are, blah blah blah. She gives an example about how she bought a pair of shoes once that were made in in China and they fell apart after wearing them once (I am thinking to myself if you ever bought a pair of shoes at Payless you for sure have worn more than one "made in china" and probably the ones you have on now are from there as well).....She ends her tirade with the phrase "down with China." The person checking out seems a bit uncomfortable with the conversation as a whole, says..."sure"...and leaves.
My blood pressure is pretty close to boiling at this point and I am thinking that one word from this woman to me about China is going to send me over the edge!!! So she asks how i am I say "Fine." -through gritted teeth and stand there as she checks out my wares, silently counting to 10 then 20 then 30 trying to calm my outraged self down.
Finally, as I sign my sales slip I say...
"Ma'am, I have a comment about your conversation just now on China...."
I take a deep breath and off I go...
"If you were to remove everything around you that was not in some way shape or form manufactured in China you would be standing on a cement floor - the cement from which BTW came from Mexico, you would not have a car to drive and you would be naked!! The people to blame for the current crisis in Chinese manufacturing plants are not the chinese workers who are slaving around the clock making less than minimum wage; but the greedy American consumer who wants everything right now and wants it "cheap." Pressure from parents who believe that their children should have so many toys they cannot walk in their rooms causes American managers to put pressure on said manufacturers resulting in unfortunate choices made by factories to try to make any profit at all. So before you decide to go off about the Chinese people next time, remember that there could be someone standing nearby who actually has people there that he/she loves, and.....get an education."
With that I walked out of the store. Pretty sure she is still standing there stuck on the word "naked".
The End.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Grace
Standing in a hallowed church,
Kneeling with a friend beside your bed,
In the silence of a hot shower alone in the dark,
Amidst the noisy bustle of life, surrounded by those you love.
Where obedience meets will, and suffering meets peace.
Turmoil finds rest, and actions find forgiveness.
Where Prayer finds answers and Victory is won.
When all of creation that has been given to you for submission battles against your soul, and when you lie awake in angst wondering about the whys.
The late night, the early morn, the place where dreams are made.
The afternoon, the twilight hour, the perfect portrait light.
In the midst of your search, or when you are done for the day, when you have given up hope and want to return to what you know may not be right, but you know is easy....
Sleeping, waking, eating, drinking, crying, laughing, standing, dancing....
Completely in this unexpected....This is where Grace is found.
Kneeling with a friend beside your bed,
In the silence of a hot shower alone in the dark,
Amidst the noisy bustle of life, surrounded by those you love.
Where obedience meets will, and suffering meets peace.
Turmoil finds rest, and actions find forgiveness.
Where Prayer finds answers and Victory is won.
When all of creation that has been given to you for submission battles against your soul, and when you lie awake in angst wondering about the whys.
The late night, the early morn, the place where dreams are made.
The afternoon, the twilight hour, the perfect portrait light.
In the midst of your search, or when you are done for the day, when you have given up hope and want to return to what you know may not be right, but you know is easy....
Sleeping, waking, eating, drinking, crying, laughing, standing, dancing....
Completely in this unexpected....This is where Grace is found.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
The passing of life
I just found that that one of my friends from HSU lost his father to cancer the last week of July. Nick is a friend who played baseball and his dad was one of my favorite parents. I spent many hours sitting by his side watching Nick on the field. My heart is sad, I knew it was coming, but still sad.
I learned a lot from our few short hours together on this earth.
Praise God he is Home now....and no longer in pain.
Thank you, Mr. Larsen, for taking the time to invest in my life, for letting me see in you the love of the Father through your love for your son. With every game of baseball I watch I will remember you. My life is changed because you were in it.
Friday, August 03, 2007
The Weak and the Strong
by Jill Carattini
An unlikely fleet is set to make port on the beaches of Britain. After fifteen years and nearly 17,000 miles, hundreds of yellow plastic ducks will find their journey complete on the shores of England. On January 29, 1992, three massive containers on a cargo ship from Hong Kong crashed into the Pacific Ocean during a storm. The containers were filled with brightly colored bathtub toys bound for the United States. Instead, 29,000 little plastic ducks began a journey that would be carefully monitored by children, oceanographers, and newscasters alike.
After a decade and a half, the tiny bobbing chicks have traveled past Japan and back to Alaska, drifted deliberately down the Bering Strait and past the length of Greenland, and carefully floated down the eastern coastline of the United States. They have persevered through storms that would have left boats and crews in dire straits. They patiently endured four years frozen in ice as they crossed the Arctic Ocean. They have arrived at various intervals on various shores, faded and tattered by sun and surf, some with animal bites and barnacles to show for the journey. But each smiling plastic face seems to return with an ironic confession: the smallest vessels on tumultuous seas are not necessarily the most vulnerable.
Life is far more than an attempt to keep our heads above water, and yet at times it feels a suited metaphor. Like tiny rubber ducks in an oceanic bathtub, we are tossed about the rocks of fear and anger, pulled under by currents of despair and disappointment, and broken at times by the journey. Human fragility is often as startlingly obvious as the image of a bath toy in the Bering Strait. We are at times almost averse to this fragility, whether seen in ourselves or in others. Fighting to keep afloat in an unpredictable sea, we take on distracting cargo and build defensive walls--anything that makes us feel less like tiny vessels lost at sea and more like giant ships passing in the night.
But metaphors of strength can be misleading, and vulnerability is often misunderstood. Though we may be reluctant to hear it, Scripture clearly puts forth the story of a fragile and fleeting humanity. Jesus spoke readily of his own death and wept at the grave of a friend. The apostle Paul wrote of our bodies as "jars of clay," words hastening back the image of David who lamented that he had become like "broken pottery." But well beyond the fragile images of humanity given in Scripture, the vulnerability of the incarnate Son comes into focus and redefines all of our terms. The image of Christ on the Cross turns our understanding of fragility on its head, challenges our discomfort with brokenness, and redirects our associations of weak and strong. We discover the vulnerability of God is far stronger than our greatest images of strength. In the cruciform image of Christ, God uses the weak to shame the strong, a suffering Son to heal the wounds of creation, and the vulnerable image of a broken savior to show us the all-surpassing vessel who saves us.
It is by the Cross that we live, by a seemingly weak vessel that we are brought home. Christ is not an escape raft for the hard realities of this world. On the contrary, he calls to us in our weakness and reminds us that it is not unfamiliar to him. Through tumultuous waters, he beckons us to see there is potential in fragility, meaning in affliction, and life beyond the journey that currently consumes us. Something like the image of tiny ducks arriving after an unlikely voyage, Christ redirects our thoughts on vulnerability, the weak and the strong. And God is aware of every last and fragile vessel, going after even one that is lost, longing to gather us unto himself like a hen gathering thousands of chicks under her wings.
Jill Carattini is senior associate writer at Ravi Zacharias International Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia.
An unlikely fleet is set to make port on the beaches of Britain. After fifteen years and nearly 17,000 miles, hundreds of yellow plastic ducks will find their journey complete on the shores of England. On January 29, 1992, three massive containers on a cargo ship from Hong Kong crashed into the Pacific Ocean during a storm. The containers were filled with brightly colored bathtub toys bound for the United States. Instead, 29,000 little plastic ducks began a journey that would be carefully monitored by children, oceanographers, and newscasters alike.
After a decade and a half, the tiny bobbing chicks have traveled past Japan and back to Alaska, drifted deliberately down the Bering Strait and past the length of Greenland, and carefully floated down the eastern coastline of the United States. They have persevered through storms that would have left boats and crews in dire straits. They patiently endured four years frozen in ice as they crossed the Arctic Ocean. They have arrived at various intervals on various shores, faded and tattered by sun and surf, some with animal bites and barnacles to show for the journey. But each smiling plastic face seems to return with an ironic confession: the smallest vessels on tumultuous seas are not necessarily the most vulnerable.
Life is far more than an attempt to keep our heads above water, and yet at times it feels a suited metaphor. Like tiny rubber ducks in an oceanic bathtub, we are tossed about the rocks of fear and anger, pulled under by currents of despair and disappointment, and broken at times by the journey. Human fragility is often as startlingly obvious as the image of a bath toy in the Bering Strait. We are at times almost averse to this fragility, whether seen in ourselves or in others. Fighting to keep afloat in an unpredictable sea, we take on distracting cargo and build defensive walls--anything that makes us feel less like tiny vessels lost at sea and more like giant ships passing in the night.
But metaphors of strength can be misleading, and vulnerability is often misunderstood. Though we may be reluctant to hear it, Scripture clearly puts forth the story of a fragile and fleeting humanity. Jesus spoke readily of his own death and wept at the grave of a friend. The apostle Paul wrote of our bodies as "jars of clay," words hastening back the image of David who lamented that he had become like "broken pottery." But well beyond the fragile images of humanity given in Scripture, the vulnerability of the incarnate Son comes into focus and redefines all of our terms. The image of Christ on the Cross turns our understanding of fragility on its head, challenges our discomfort with brokenness, and redirects our associations of weak and strong. We discover the vulnerability of God is far stronger than our greatest images of strength. In the cruciform image of Christ, God uses the weak to shame the strong, a suffering Son to heal the wounds of creation, and the vulnerable image of a broken savior to show us the all-surpassing vessel who saves us.
It is by the Cross that we live, by a seemingly weak vessel that we are brought home. Christ is not an escape raft for the hard realities of this world. On the contrary, he calls to us in our weakness and reminds us that it is not unfamiliar to him. Through tumultuous waters, he beckons us to see there is potential in fragility, meaning in affliction, and life beyond the journey that currently consumes us. Something like the image of tiny ducks arriving after an unlikely voyage, Christ redirects our thoughts on vulnerability, the weak and the strong. And God is aware of every last and fragile vessel, going after even one that is lost, longing to gather us unto himself like a hen gathering thousands of chicks under her wings.
Jill Carattini is senior associate writer at Ravi Zacharias International Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
God Speaking
Thanks MC for your beautiful post. I, of course, ran over to google and googled the words to the whole song, and then found it on myspace. I am sitting at my desk with tears in my eyes, playing it over and over to put the truth of those words into my soul….so thankful for the reminder!
The past couple of weeks have been kinda rough for me and mine. When people who care ask, I give them the details, but try to end each tirade with the reminder to them and myself that I am so blessed far beyond what I could ever hope to deserve, so while the valley may be dark for the moment, the morning is coming. Praise His Name!
I treasure your continued prayers for my family, my brothers in particular. Both are battling things we cannot see, and to go to war with them in prayer is all that I can do right now. Pray that Dad, Mom and I will have the wisdom know the next steps and that we will walk in trust of He who is in control.
Thank you!
The past couple of weeks have been kinda rough for me and mine. When people who care ask, I give them the details, but try to end each tirade with the reminder to them and myself that I am so blessed far beyond what I could ever hope to deserve, so while the valley may be dark for the moment, the morning is coming. Praise His Name!
I treasure your continued prayers for my family, my brothers in particular. Both are battling things we cannot see, and to go to war with them in prayer is all that I can do right now. Pray that Dad, Mom and I will have the wisdom know the next steps and that we will walk in trust of He who is in control.
Thank you!
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Warrior is a Child
One of my favorite songs as a child...
Lyrics came back to me the other day, I think I might now truly understand their meaning. The battle is great, but the victory is won!! Praise His Name!!
Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears
They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armour
The warrior is a child
Unafraid because his armour is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet
I drop my sword and look up for His smile
Because deep inside this armour
The Warrior is a Child
Lyrics came back to me the other day, I think I might now truly understand their meaning. The battle is great, but the victory is won!! Praise His Name!!
Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears
They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armour
The warrior is a child
Unafraid because his armour is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet
I drop my sword and look up for His smile
Because deep inside this armour
The Warrior is a Child
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