My dad

Father's day has officially come and gone...in fact it has been over a month now. After posting about my mom, I know that you were waiting for my post, in fact, many of you emailed to ask me about my lack there of.

Thoughts of my dad are hard to put into words at all, because my dad is overwhelming to me. Let me explain. From the beginning of my life...my dad was there. (don't roll your eyes at my cheesy obvious statement, let me explain)

My dad announced my coming at his college graduation.
My dad wasn't upset when they told him I was a girl, even though I was supposed to be a boy.
My dad was who I ran to when I got in trouble - not that I got in less trouble, it just didn't seem so bad when he was right there.
My dad took me fishing for the 1st time with my own little pole and rod.
My dad killed a snake coming out of the water with a big rock at the same fishing hole. (we never went fishing again without a pistol).
My dad was there my 1st day of kindergarten.
My dad was there when I learned how to ride a two-wheel bicycle...and when I fell down, he picked me up again.
My dad was there when I knelt by the couch in our living room and gave my heart to Jesus.
My dad was there when I was baptised.
My dad was there praying over me when he gave his life to missions....this was the 1st time I remember my dad crying.
My dad was there when I said good-bye to grandparents and friends and got on a HUGE plane and headed for Africa - a place he said he would never go - then God took him there and now he says he will never leave.
My dad was there when I saw Africa for the 1st time, we saw giraffes running on the ground as we were circling to land.
I heard my dad cry our 1st night in Africa wondering what in the world we were doing there....but the next morning he assured me it was going to be the best home we had ever had...and it was.

My dad is in every single memory that I have of Africa.....
.....the brave warrior who gave commentary on baby lions.
.....the unassuming pastor who led hundreds of African's to the saving love of Jesus.
.....the adventurous eater who had a chicken head placed in front of him...and who taught me how to graciously say "no" without insulting a culture.
.....the carpenter man, who could create anything he put his mind to.
.....the farmer boy, who taught me how to love all living things. (except snakes!)
.....the patient man, who learned to drink coffee and milky tea and build one relationship after another while quietly influencing Christ into the lives of others.
.....the loving man, who hurt with me when I hurt, and laughed with me when I laughed, who danced the "roger rabbit" with me when everyone else in the room thought I just looked silly.
.....the man in the moon who taught me how to look at the African sky and see life.
.....the man on the street who taught me how to look at a person and see a soul.
.....the man of compassion who gave bread and cookies to begger children.
.....the man who could have been the Mayor of Eldoret, Kenya.
....the modest man who was just as comfortable in a mud hut in a village as he was in the home of the President's brother.
.....the sacrificing man who put his children's happiness before his own.
.....the sports man who won the "piga mingi" award with grace and style.
.....the protecting man, whose only act of road rage was in protection of his children.
.....the funny man, who hates to be laughed at.
.....the encouraging man who taught me how to pursue my dreams no matter what others said.
.....the humble man who when he had done wrong was big enough to confess it and ask for forgiveness.

My dad was there when I got on the plane to return to the US, leaving my home, my passion, my heartbeat. He held my hand and promised it would be ok.
My dad was there when after 1 1/2 years of excrutiating pain that was bible college, I came home from BBC feeling a failure...he told me I wasn't....I believed him.
My dad was there when I made Abilene home.
He put me in my 1st apartment and then did one of the hardest things he ever had to do (or so he says) he drove away and left me there to be a young adult.
My dad sent me money, even when I didn't want to have to need it.
My dad was on the phone when I had good news and when I had bad.
My dad prayed at my graduation ceremony.
My dad told me he was proud of me. There is no greater feeling.

My dad prays for me daily, his quiet influence leads my life in ways that he will never know. He is a gift I can never hope to repay.

My gift of writing you all seem to love....yep that's from my dad.

You see, I look like him, I act like him.....he is intricately woven into my life so much that when it comes to saying "Hey this is my dad and he is great....words just seem inadequate."
But he is MY DAD! He is Great! I am so honored and blessed that when God looked down to find a family to put me in, Steve Workman was the man he chose to be my father.

I love you, dad!

The DASH

A friend sent this link to me this morning. I have read the poem before, but the scenery is beautiful and the music it is set to provided peace. Just want to take a pause in my hectic morning and thank you for being part of my "DASH".

Loving my faithful readers today, praying that your dash will be full and overflowing with the richness of HIS love. It is like no other. I know that some would think that I am just subscribing to a religion.....this is not true....what is true is simply that He who lives within me is my best friend. There is no way I have made it through this past year without HIM.

AW

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME!!

Yesterday marked my one year in MK. I got to celebrate, by MC-ing (is that a word) the debut/grand opening of my Brooke's Mary Kay journey.

Hard to believe that a little over a year ago, my dear friend Sara Wallace, called me to announce her own entry into this amazing company and I, being the amazing supporter that I am....laughed at her!

A few weeks later after time and research I also signed my contract, and what a journey I started on!!

A company that was founded on the Golden Rule, that puts God 1st, family 2nd and career 3rd. Exactly how life should be. What other company can you think of that does this?? Mary Kay's vision 43 years ago was a pioneering one in a world where men dominated the sales force and where women would never make it past an administrative position.

Her dream was to have a company where God would reign and women would NEVER have to choose between raising their children and making ends meet.

43 years later....Mary Kay, Inc. has more women making 6 figures than any other company in the world, their car fleet is larger than the US government, and with 1.6 million consultants worldwide they are enriching the lives of women one face at a time. Helping women to believe in themselves. Sounds cheesy I know, but I can personally testify that my life has been changed. I am able to encorporate this business with my ministry. I am able to be a part of and touch lives that I would NEVER have encountered had I not signed that initial contract.

The money, prizes and recognition, they are really just fluff, compared to the friends I have made, the lives I have encountered and the people who touch my life daily and make a difference in who I am today.

My customers and sister consultants, not forgetting to mention my amazing Godly directors....who read this....thanks! You make the journey worth it!

A word of wisdom from the amazing softspoken pioneer....(check out her acheivements!!)

"Do you know that within your power lies every step you ever dreamed of stepping, and within your power lies every joy you ever dreamed of seeing? Within yourself lies everything you ever dreamed of being. Become everything that God wants you to be. It is within your reach. Dare to grow into your dreams and claim this as your motto: Let it be me." -Mary Kay ASH

Midnight in Tig's world

It is Midnight on Wednesday night/Thursday morning. I went to bed an hour ago and after tossing and turning decided that the best thing to do would be to get up. I mean why try to force sleep when it is obvious it is not coming anytime soon.

So, for boredom's sake (fair warning for all of you currently reading this post.) I am going to detail out my evening....which as it turns out was pretty exciting to me.

Let's use 6 PM for the evening starter.

AT 6PM I was on my way to drop of my Emily. She is the daughter of a friend of mine who has grown into a sister through the years. In fact, our resemblence, mannerisms and general thoughts on life, often put us into the sister category by default.
Miss Emily is on the Varsity Cheer Squad at Oak Ridge High School, and has recently been asked to cheer on the competitive squad at Woodland's Elite. She is a beautiful girl and growing into an amazing young woman. Not anything like the 3rd grader I met 8 years ago!

6:30 PM After dropping her off at practice, I made my way to a facial appointment. I got to get to know a new customer and spend time letting her story enrich my life. Plus I made a sale, but really that is just the fluff.

7:45 PM Onto a conference call with a potential new team member and my hot mama director Brittany Mitchell. The call went well, and I have a new team member! This brings my count to 7!! Praise the Lord! One more and I am officially in DIQ! God is good!

8:30 PM off the conference call, but onto a call with my director, talking about upcoming seminar, plus some goals and plans that I have for myself! My director is such an amazing woman. She is not only one of the most beautiful directors in Mary Kay history...but she is one Godly woman. She encourages me daily in my walk and I cannot imagine my life without her.

**side note** I know that I say the words "I cannot imagine my life without so-so" all the time. Please know that I do not take this phrase lightly. I truely cannot imagine the logistics of my life without the many influences that God has put in it. Go back to my post from earlier this year. Something in that is just for you....you are in my life!

8:55 PM I got to talk to one of my favorite people on the planet. Building on a friendship of 15 years, every conversation brings joy to my heart. Silly?!? Probably, but true nonetheless.

9:15 PM On the couch watching Project Runway. Yes, my current favorite reality series. I watched all of last season and I was having Daniel withdrawls. He was not he winner, but Michael Kors offered him a job on national television....amazing talent!!

Ha...how may hyperlinks can you put in a sentence? Give me a break it is 12:30 and I am in ramble mode ok!

9:30 PM Phone rings and I get to spend talking with one of THE Kennedy's. "THE Kennedy's? You mean the real Kennedy's" Of course they are real...I do not talk to imaginary friends anymore, unless I am bored and lonely! This young man who has introduced me to people as "The sister I never knew I wanted." Called just to chat and to give me a prayer request. He knows that I love his family as my own and that I would of course pray over them. Talking to him I could not believe that he was really my Ryno. I am so proud of who I get the pleasure of watching him become. I am so proud of you Ryno. So glad you stopped "hating" me.

10:00 PM
Friend's episode....cleaning kitchen....pulled out vacuum then decided that was a task for tomorrow.


10:30 PM
Off to bed...but TV still on as well as reading a book.

11:00 PM TV sleep timer turned on....Will and Grace ( I know I know!!) episode running in the back ground.

Toss turn....TV off....toss turn more......KSBJ on....toss turn.

Forget it! up out of bed....and this blog was born!
I leave you with a scene from my sweet friend's backyard. And the words of wisdom of my friend Arnie (aka cricket) always tells me....ALL great things start with" A".
Yes....... as in "Amanda".

Healing

I love this picture. A dear person in my life once named it "Serenity", and loved it with an enthusiasm I had never had about any of my work. It was one of the biggest complements of my life, so I gave it to him.

This picture is an amazing representation of just that. Just looking at this used to make my whole day brighter. Now it makes me long for this peace.

The past year of my life has been horrible. I realize that in comparison to other horrors happening in the world, some would think I was being petty and looked at my blessed life as cake. But to me, I have faced tragedies that I have never faced before, and hope that I never have to face again.

There were some of these situations that were brought on by myself. I allowed myself to be too proud to truely ask why, and I am ashamed of that.

I have said and done hurtful things that I should have never said or done. I have spread rumors and for that I ask for forgiveness. One day I will have to answer to God for it all. One day I will have the chance to sit down and apologize face to face to those I have hurt. But for now I am doing it here. I am sorry that I did not take the opportunity to listen before. Wrong was done, and is done. Life is full of crap and unfortunately I have added to it in several lives. For some of you I caused a wound and I am sorry, for others of you I allowed you to pick at your wound too long and even helped you pick at it I am equally as sorry for that.

For all of us. What is done is done. Let's move on. Realize that what was done and said on all sides was done from deep wounds of hurt. The President of our United States said something this morning that really hit home with me. He said that "Our problems and issues did not pop up over night, they were small on going things that have now festered into a larger problem.....they will not be solved overnight either. But I am committed to working to find a solution for peace."

I am going to go ahead and steal those words. I don't know if there will ever be the peace that I want. The peace of families that love each other. Apologies need to happen, prideful walls need to be torn down, amazing grace will have to reign in ways that are incomprehensible to me right now. But here is what I know. I love you all. I know that there are times when it did not seem like it, but I do. I don't love one side more than the other, I just love.

I am reading a book right now that is changing my life in a lot of ways. I have been bound by things that I did not realize I was bound by until now. Unforgiveness and bitterness happens to be a topic in one chapter and pride happens to be the very next chapter. I don't think that is a coincidence in my life at all. Unforgiveness breeds bitterness, and bitterness is paralizing to the spirit within. It will take all meaning and joy out of life, and will only hurt those who allow it to remain in their souls. Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. I am choosing to forgive.

I am sorry for who I have hurt, because I know the pain is great. For those who have placed hurt in my life, you are forgiven. That may sound prideful in and of itself, but this is what I know.... I have been forgiven much, so who am I to allow unforgiveness to kill my inner spirit. Some hurt was done purposefully and some done without knowledge. It is done.... it is over.....choose to forgive, or choose to not to forgive....either way I will love you.....but either way I am moving on.

Quick update

Thank you all so much for praying and participating in the whirlwind of a month that was my June. Just a quick update on the goals that were set and how they were met.

Goal #1. To be a Star consultant this past quarter which ended on June 15th:
I came in at just over Star production thanks to all of my great friends and customers who placed orders, spurred me on with words of encouragement and PRAYED!! for me.

Goal #2. To finish off the seminar year in DIQ (Director in qualification) with 8 team members
I came in just short of this goal with 6 team members. But Praise God for the team members that did come on! They inspire me daily and are already working toward their own goals. What a wonderful set of sharp women I have running beside me in this business. What an honor it is to see how God is growing them.

Goal #3. To finish off the seminar year in qualification for my car.
THIS I did!! I am now "on target" for my 1st car in Mary Kay, and 1/3 of the way into production for it. Thanks again to my fantastic customers and team members who are helping me realize my goals and dreams.

One other thing that is frightningly exciting to me is that I just received my very last un-employment check. I am now on my own...and I am so excited to see what exciting opportunities God is going to put in my path as He continues to be my Faithful provider.
This weekend in spending time in His Word I came across a wonderful passage in Ps. 91

This I declare of the LORD: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I am trusting him. For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from the fatal plague. He will shield you with his wings. He will shelter you with his feathers. His faithful promises are your armor and protection. (bold print is mine) How GREAT IS OUR GOD!!

That is the update on my life for the month of June.


Goals for July......
To finish out the qualifications for Directorship
To hold 3 classes a week
To hold 3 facials a week
To finish qualification for my 1st car....the red Pontiac Vibe.
But most of all to be able to enrich the lives of my current and future customers with prayer and friendship.

How you can help:
-Host a skin care or some form of pampering class....even if you have hosted in the past you can host again.
-Refer friends and family to me. Remember that I do not have territories so they do not have to live in the Houston area. They can always order from my website www.marykay.com/amandaworkman Also remember that for every referal you send my way that ends up in an order....you get $10 free product!
-Lastly and most importantly....continue to encourage me and to pray for me. I treasure the phone calls, the emails and the prayers that are sent my way. I could not have made it this far without you.
Thanks for all you do!!!

Pink Caddy if you please

As I work towards being in qualification for my 1st car, and my qualifications to be a director; this article was sent to me by my incredibly amazing Cadillac driving director Brittany Mitchell.

I am so blessed that I not only have a company that will help me earn great cars, but I have incredibly Godly mentors that will keep my eye on the prize every step of the way.

Don't limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as you mind lets you. What you believe, you can achieve. -Mary Kay Ash

This was in yesterday's Detroit paper.
Monday, June 26, 2006
THINK PINK: Mary Kay loves GM for its eye-popping Cadillacs
Brett Clanton / The Detroit News
Right now, hundreds of thousands of Mary Kay cosmetics sellers are competing for a unique trophy that has distinguished the best among them for nearly 40 years -- the keys to their very own pink Cadillac.
And next month, on a stage in Dallas, a few misty-eyed winners will claim their reward.
The honor of producing the Mary Kay Cadillac has not been lost on General Motors Corp., which through the years has fought to keep the account amid competition from suitors and a slump at its Cadillac brand during the 1980s and 1990s.
But the relationship may be equally important to Mary Kay, whose brand identity has been tied to the luxury car marque from the cosmetic company's earliest days. Rewarding top sellers with, say, a pink Lexus just wouldn't be the same.
While the pink is not so pink anymore and GM is not the same company it was when the program began, the pink Cadillac has endured as the ultimate prize for the Texas makeup purveyor as the company has grown into a global empire.
Along the way, the pink Caddy has also become an American icon, immortalized in songs by Bruce Springsteen and Aretha Franklin, dropped in movies and used as a ride for Barbie. But it is perhaps best known as an unmistakable symbol of the self-made businesswomen.
So, every few months, as it has for years, GM gets the call to build a new batch of big pink sedans. Workers at GM factories in Detroit and Lansing retrieve a special vat of paint marked "OGU," pink Cadillacs roll down the line, sandwiched between white, black and red models, and the tradition continues.
It's the car sellers hope for
The ritual traces its history to 1968, when, as the story goes, a young and ambitious woman named Mary Kay Ash strode into a Cadillac dealership in Dallas with an unusual request.
Pulling a compact out of her purse and pointing to the "Mountain Laurel" pink blush inside, she said she wanted a car in the same color.
The dealer complied, painted the car on-site and Ash had a rolling advertisement for the small cosmetics business she had started five years earlier at the age of 45 with $5,000 -- her life savings.
The following year, with her sales team growing and business taking off, she rewarded her top five sellers with a 1970 model year Cadillac Coupe DeVille -- bathed in bright pink paint.
The rest, of course, is history.
Today, Mary Kay Inc. rakes in more than $2 billion in annual sales and has 1.6 million employees from Uruguay to Ukraine.
But the United States, where 700,000 of Mary Kay's "independent beauty consultants" are based, is still the company's biggest market -- and one of only a few nations where a pink Cadillac is still the top prize.
"It's the car that everyone hopes to receive," said John DeLuna, a Mary Kay marketing and sales analyst who works with the car reward program.
GM has built about 100,000 pink Cadillacs. The attention the automaker shows the Mary Kay account is on full display at GM's large car factory in Hamtramck.
The plant annually builds about 800 pink Cadillac DTS sedans -- the top award for Mary Kay's star sellers. That makes Hamtramck the biggest producer of pink Caddys, dwarfing the output at GM's Lansing Grand River plant, where pink versions of midsize Cadillac CTS sedans are built for Mary Kay.
In Hamtramck, a pink Caddy is pampered in a way that the Buick Lucerne and other DTS models made on the same assembly line are not. A special tri-coat paint job takes more than twice as long as the normal three-minute treatment. And the cars get some exterior components, including rearview mirrors, delivered to the plant in Mary Kay pink by parts suppliers.
"At one point, making these vehicles used to be a big disruption," said Gregory Pratt, paint area manager of GM's Hamtramck plant.
But GM factories are much more flexible today than they once were, so Pratt and his team can respond to a Mary Kay order in seconds, rather than minutes and hours.
Through the years, the appearance of the Mary Kay Cadillac has also changed. No more fins. No more DeVille, which was phased out last year to make way for the DTS. And, most surprisingly, no more pink. Or at least not much of it.
Mary Kay pink has been updated six times in four decades, evolving from bubble-gum pink in the early years to a "pearlescent" shade today that is pink only in the right light. The rest of the time, a Mary Kay special might look like just another white sedan.
And not all of Mary Kay's legions of sellers are happy with the transition.
In the late 1990s, these cosmetics road warriors pushed back when a new shade was introduced that they felt was just too pale. "There were some people out there who wanted it a little pinker," DeLuna said.
So in 2000, the company rolled out a pinker pink to placate the miffed vendors.
Today, Mary Kay is working on a seventh-generation pink for award cars. GM says the new hue will be closely guarded until it is unveiled.
An interesting thing about the Mary Kay pink: Regular customers cannot buy a pink Cadillac from GM, nor have one painted by a GM dealer. It is an exclusive shade owned by the cosmetics company.
In addition, winners of a Mary Kay Caddy must return the cars after a two-year lease expires, at which time the company repaints them and sells them at auction. Those who choose to buy the pink cars must agree not to resell them to anyone other than approved dealers.
Account is valuable to GM
Keeping the Mary Kay people happy may be important to GM now more than ever. After losing $10.6 billion last year, GM is trying to scale back sales to image-killing rental car agencies, and beef up profitable fleet sales to corporate customers like the well-known cosmetics firm.
Along with the pink Cadillacs, Mary Kay buys hundreds of Pontiac Vibe hatchbacks and Pontiac Grand Prix sedans every year -- all painted red -- that are given as rewards to a second tier of top sellers.
Beyond the sales boost, though, GM and the Cadillac brand benefit from being connected to one of the best-known corporate award programs in the world, said Siobhan Olson, head of non-traditional marketing for Frank About Women, a consultancy in Winston-Salem, N.C.
"What brand wouldn't want to be known as a reward?"
To get an idea of how seriously GM views its relationship with the cosmetics company, look no further than GM's Renaissance Center headquarters. There, the automaker has a whole team -- headed by its own vice president -- to oversee the Mary Kay account.
Every week, the group has "Pink Tuesday" strategy meetings where team members -- including the men -- are encouraged to wear pink.
The team will do anything it can to better understand the women who will drive these cars, said Sharon Dudley-Parham, GM's fleet account manager of the Mary Kay business.
"We are sensitive to the fact that this is a long-term account," she said. "We are not interested in losing this business."
Mary Kay's DeLuna said there have been moments through the years when the makeup maker thought about going in a different direction.
"I hesitate to tell you," he said, "but we've considered it."
Mary Kay has always returned to GM because of the care it gives the account and competitive price, DeLuna said.
At this point, it would be hard to swap the Caddys for another model and have it mean the same thing.
Crisette Ellis, a national sales director for Mary Kay who lives in Bloomfield Hills, knows this all too well.
After winning four pink Cadillacs and qualifying for a fifth, she decided to take a cash prize rather than the car, an option that allowed her to buy a sleek Mercedes-Benz convertible.
After a while, though, she missed the recognition she got from wheeling around in a pink Cadillac and the sense of achievement that came with it.
"You can't show people the cash," said Ellis, 42, who now is in her fifth pink Cadillac.
In two weeks, thousands of Mary Kay sellers will gather at the Dallas Convention Center for the company's annual meeting, known as "Seminar," and a new crop of vendors will get their first pink Cadillacs.
As the moment draws near, women in the audience will make oversized steering wheel motions with their arms or hold mini-steering wheels to signal the time is nigh.
The winners will be called to the stage. Music will play. Tears will flow. And the dream that drove them to this point will be fulfilled.

I met with a snake.

This morning I got up in need of exercise. My energy level was really low and I decided to fight it off with some good ol' fashion exercise.

My normal run did not appeal to me, but the bike/running path I take was calling to me. In this neighborhood there is a running path about a half mile away. The majority of this path is shaded by tall pines which makes for a nice cool haven while exercising. There are birds and squirrels and other such wooded creatures seen while running and it makes for a nice little nature walk/run.

But today I wanted something more. I wanted some more aerobic exercise. I decided to pull out the roller blades!! *hear the adventure music start.

I have not put these roller blades on in probably 5 years, if not more. So I pulled out my long socks (I only have 1 pair of crew socks and they are kept strictly for the purpose of roller blading), and strapped on my blades and wrist guards and after a shaky start off I went.

I did pretty well on the way there, I only had to run into a tree once to re-catch my balance and there was no one around to see it so maybe it didn't happen! ha!

I get to the path opening and really start moving. The coolness of the shade, the breeze I am creating for myself and the worship song I am singing to God are keeping me moving. About this time, I see it.....the branch looking thing lying across half of the path that can only be A SNAKE!!!

Now, let me 'splain. I HATE snakes. Sorry to those of you who think they are great, or would make good pets, or perhaps are just indifferent to them. I HATE them. I have been told all of their "redeeming" qualities and don't believe a word of it. A snake is bad snake and that is the end of my thought process. I realize I am closed minded about this, but I will accept that characterization and move on with my life, thank you very much!

So at the point I meet this 2 foot long snake in my path I am going down a slight incline. There is no way that I can stop, there is no way I can go off the path; I have to keep going. I pushed off and skirted around this fear of mine which for all I know was a deadly copperhead (I did not turn around to look or stay around to ask). I just pushed past my paralyzing fear and kept going!

For the rest of my time, with my eyes pealed for more snakes in my path (I did not encounter anymore Praise God!)...I began to think about my life. It is very similar to this blading ride.

I am on a pathway...headed in a direction that I want to go...with great things ahead of me. The exercise of life is rewarding though not always easy, but is good for me. Along this path I am going to encounter snakes. Metaphorically, as well as realistically; and in meeting with these snakes/deadly fears in my life I have some choices. I can turn back, go back to where I came from and stay fat and unhealthy, I could stop and become paralyzed and stagnant immobilized and useless, or I could face my fears and cruise on past the snakes in my pathway and reach my goals.

Today I choose to face my fears, to leave that snake in my rearview and not look back. He did not conquer me today, and he won't tomorrow either. I have the ultimate of Snake Killers on my side, and I have no reason to fear.

Philippians 3:12-21 (from the Message)
12-14 I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running and I'm not turning back.

15-16 So let's keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you'll see it yet! Now that we're on the right track, let's stay on it.

17-19 Stick with me, friends. Keep track of those you see running this same course, headed for this same goal. There are many out there taking other paths, choosing other goals, and trying to get you to go along with them. I've warned you of them many times; sadly, I'm having to do it again. All they want is easy street. They hate Christ's Cross. But easy street is a dead-end street. Those who live there make their bellies their gods; belches are their praise; all they can think of is their appetites.

20-21 But there's far more to life for us. We're citizens of high heaven! We're waiting the arrival of the Savior, the Master, Jesus Christ, who will transform our earthy bodies into glorious bodies like his own. He'll make us beautiful and whole with the same powerful skill by which he is putting everything as it should be, under and around him.

How Great is Our God!!

I spent the entire day at KSBJ our local Christian radio station yesterday. From 5 am to midnight. My shift was not that long to begin with, but I ended up staying the whole day anyway.

It was for their once a year faith promise share-a-thon. This year was amazing. For the 1st time in the 24 year history of the station….they met their monthly Monthly Operations Need: $248,000 by 6 pm on the second day. And their Special Projects Goal Phase One: $1,145,000 before noon on the 3rd day.
The rest of the 12 hours were God’s time…above and beyond. Apparently we had been praying too small for months….because by 11 pm last night we had raised over $5 million dollars.
This is more than any other Christian radio station has raised ever by about $300,000. Isn’t that amazing!! They will now be able to set their sites on “phase two and three” of the special projects goal….which was actually set for the next two years.

What was amazing was the staff….no one knew what to do. God kept bringing in the money and the staff (who are all so humble and amazing) kept looking at each other dumbfounded. Things like this had never happened before. They were humbled by the fact that they had asked God for what they thought was a "stretching dream" hoping to make it, and He said “oh yeah watch this!”

The theme this year was “How Great Is Our God”. Over the past year the radio station has been able to touch over a million lives (which was our theme and goal last year), including mine. I could not have made it through the past few months without the songs of Jesus and the encouragement of the DJ's broadcasting at all hours of the day and night through this station.

This will take the station even farther over the airwaves into HD technology so there can be 3 different genres all under the same name and dial. They will be able to expand the Nigeria project which is currently broadcasting over all of Nigeria and into parts of other neighboring countries. (That is a station they were able to put online last year). They will continue with domestic and international mentoring of other Christian radio stations. To bring them out of the dark ages of being a station that just plays Christian music, to a station that is out there in the community touching lives and spreading the Word through being the hands and feet of Jesus.

This is the third time I have volunteered….and it was amazing. So much fun to have God show up and be right there in phone central!! Our last hour was pure praise. Over a hundred people (staff and volunteers) in singing and praying and praising God. The president and CEO who is such an incredible man of God spoke from the Word….plus I suppose if you consider the pledging an offering….we had church!!

Two or three or a city of believers were gathered in His name for HIS purpose. It was amazing!! HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!!
AW

p.s. for those of you keeping up...God is also working in my business!! I need 3 more active team members by the end of the month and I will be on target for directorship!! God is moving!!

Sitting

Why exactly do they say we are "sitting" when we watch things?
Baby-sitting....I am pretty sure that should we choose to do the literal we would be arrested.
Dog-sitting...a sure way to get bitten.
Cat-sitting...one squashed meow coming up.
House-sitting...one ponders where in the house we must sit. On top of the house, in the house, beside the house.

And why do we have to sit? Can't we stand? What is wrong with Baby-standing? What about crouching? I mean couldn't we dog-crouch?

Anyway, the past few weeks I have had the honor of house/dog/cat/guinea pig sitting. Three different houses all at the same time. Which can get kind of uncomfortable if taken literally.

The first house was for dear friends of mine who were on their way to explore "the Continent". Jealousy ensued as they jumped on a plane to go explore castles and lands. But they left me with Calvin and Hobbes, who are two of the coolest cats ever.

Calvin - he is the epitome of cat. He is big and fluffy, and sleeps all day long. When he is not sleeping he is walking to the food dish, where he eats and then finds a new place to rest his fat self. Kind of timid and shy, any attention received from him is in some small way an honor. So when at night he chooses to hop up and curl next to you, you feel the world is at peace.

Hobbes - a cat of a different nature. He is the adventurous warrior. Though raised an inside cat. He is out to hunt down, attack and destroy his foes. These foes are usually in the shape of a plastic bag. Which he has chosen as his sworn enemy. When he finds one lying on the floor, blissfully innocent to its fate....he slowly stalks it, creeping up on paws of stealth, sniffing around the territory to make sure that other danger is not present, and then without warning he pounces!! Rolling and entangling himself in the bag that, though seemingly defenseless, is fighting back by attaching itself to his neck and making horrendous rustling bag noises that will send this attacker running for dear life. However, the bag now has the advantage and hangs on to the neck, getting louder the more that Hobbes tries to break free.

Human girl (that's me) steps into the scene here and is forced to catch the cat and remove the bag from his neck. However, with the sick humor that is within all humans, she strategically places the bag so that the unsuspecting cat will repeat this scene for her amusement later. *insert wicked laugh

When not sleeping, eating and attacking innocent bags, these two amuse themselves...and the humans around them...by attacking each other. Some very clever wrestling moves have been designed from watching cats I do believe. A pounce on the unaware victim, a grasping of the head with one set of legs and feet, while the other set is mercilessly jackrabbiting the opponent in the face. Don't worry about the "innocent victim" however, he will get his own. One swift roll and the tides have turned and "poor" Hobbes who is outweighed by Calvin is getting back his due.
I think we have a lot to learn from this. I.E. Always watch out for the "quiet" ones.

More to come on the adventures of sitting. For now need to get dressed and ready for the adventures of the day.

You did it!!

Dearest friends and customers,
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!! God is so good, through you HE made it possible!! I have just placed the final order for the MK quarter, making me a star consultant for the first time!
Not only did almost all of you place an order with me, but many of you also called to check on me every day in the home stretch, sent me emails of encouragement, and best of all you prayed with me!!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

A quick FYI for those of you who needed to wait to place an order. Until the end of June I will have the Satin Hands set at a buy one get one half off. And I have extended the 10% off all web orders offer as well.
By the way...did I mention...

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
I am exausted!! Best part about a Mary Kay business....I can take time of when ever I want. So tomorrow will be spent by the pool!

Next week of course starts a new quarter and a new goal.
THANK YOU!!!

An Update

Well, it is 10:17 pm. And I have just finished watching Sean win the Apprenticeship under Donald Trump. Yea for Sean!

I however, would just like to find the job of my dreams somewhere. :)

Today, I woke up with a spliting headache, so rather than get out and do some Mary Kay warm chattering as I was planning to do, I instead took some pills and came upstairs to do some email answering and to send out some more resume's. As of 10 minutes ago I believe that today alone I have applied to about 10 jobs.

I have, of course, marked in my calender to follow up with each of these at the end of the week.

I also followed up with the Korea position. What an amazing opportunity that would be if I could get it.

My spirits are definately higher this week. I know this comes as a result of my friends who spent time last week fasting and praying on my behalf. I still do not have any definative answers, but the peace that things are moving is there.

In the meantime....I have a HUGE Mary Kay goal that I need to reach by June 15th. It is a sale's goal and so I am putting it out here for all to help me with. Please log onto my website http://www.marykay.com/amandaworkman and find something to buy. :-) There will be a 10% discount off of all web orders. Perhaps you do not currenly use their top selling skin care system or their makeup. That is ok, there are sun care products, spa products, and a whole section of gift ideas for any upcoming birthday's, weddings, etc that you might need gifts for.
(p.s. let me know it is a gift and I'll wrap it for you)
For those of you who live far away...that is ok too...free shipping! Who could ask for more!

I am working so hard to meet this goal and I know that you can help!

Thank you so much for all your prayers.... don't stop God is working!
Thank you for your encouragement.....don't stop phone calls and emails get me through my day!
Most of all thank you for loving me....don't stop I can't live without you! :)

Asking

For my faithful readers who pray,
I am asking of you a favor.
My heart, as you know, is ready to move from this
stagnant place that I am.

I feel that God has stripped all the securities of my life;
Job, Boyfriend, Social Life, and Place to live, from me...
For a purpose.

I am ready to move, ready to follow,
ready to heed whatever HE may have in store.
So this is what I am asking.
Fast with me....pray with me.

Ask of HIM who knows all things,
That HE will reveal to me the open door
That HE wants me to walk through.

His Word promises so many things, but in James HE says...
"If you want to know what to do...then ask of God....HE will not resent your asking...He will tell you. But when you ask be expectant of an answer."

So I am asking of you to pray, expecting an answer.
What city, town, state, or country.
Where He leads I WILL follow.

Thank you.

The Battle

Thot's are tumbling 'round in my head,
My brain will not be still.
Thoughts of who I was,
Who I am,
And Who God has for me to be.

Around the bend,
Over the hill,
Across the ocean's depths
My journey is long and wearying.

What is the Master's plan?
What did HE create in me to be?
What is HIS purpose?

Cleaning is therapy.
Straightening the order of the physical;
A reflection of the work of the Spiritual.

Pain finds its way in;
Forgiveness heals.
Worry pushes and hammers at the door;
Faithfulness quiets the noise.
Anger rages;
Gentleness soothes.
Weariness overwhelms;
Strength comes in the shelter of the Rock.
Confusion torments;
Trust fights back.
Sadness comes in waves, threatening to drown,
Peace that passes understanding reaches out and pulls the swimmer into the boat.
Voices scream out for attention, trying to distract the one on the journey;
ONE quiet whisper, "BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD."

The battle is won.

The Mother's in my life

(author's note: I realize this is a day late, but I did not have computer access over the weekend)
(2nd author's note: this may be a funny picture to post for a mother's day tribute, but this is one of my favorite pictures of my mother. This photo was taken the day that she got to fulfill a life long dream of going to Victoria Falls in Africa. The look on her face is radiant!
My ducky mom! I love you!)

This is just a small tribute to the mother's that God has placed in my life. I am so incredibly blessed. Not everyone even gets to know their mother. I not only know mine, but she is my friend. On top of that I not only have her, but God has placed several other women in my life that serve in motherly roles. This post is just a small way to show them the love that I feel for them in my heart.

MY MOM:
MOM, I am so glad that GOD chose you to be my mom. More than that I am so glad that you chose to have me. I recognize that you did have a choice and you chose me and I am thankful for that.
Thank you for teaching me about the GOD that you serve. From the beginning you taught me that HE loves me, that HE cares for me, that HE wanted to be my GOD. You showed me through example how to serve HIM, how to love HIM back and how to live for HIM daily.
Because of you I have a Joy unspeakable, and a Hope everlasting, and I am deeply in love with the GOD that never fails!
Thank you for that.
You taught me how to have a good time. Whatever my circumstance in life, you taught me to see the lighter side of it and have the ability to laugh at myself. You strove to make my life fun and taught me to look at the world around me with appreciation and wonder. You taught me to see beauty, even if I was the only beholder. Because of you, I know how to laugh till I cry and to bring joy into other's lifes.
Thank you for that.
You taught me how to dream. You let me know that it was ok to have a dream and to pursue it, even if you thought it was not the best place for me to be. When I fell you were there to pick me up and drive me home, and love me till I healed. Then you helped me find a new dream and have encouraged and loved every step of the way down my new path.
You have laid prostrate before the Lord praying for my life. A debt I can never repay.
Thank you for that.
I sometimes tease that 15,000 miles away is the perfect distance to have a healthy relationship with your mother. But my heart does not believe that. My heart misses you every day, and I long to see you. I am so proud of you, of the sacrifices that you have made in life to serve the GOD that you love and the family HE has given you. Thank you for teaching me all of my life. Thank you for raising me to the best of your ability, making me do what you thought was best with GOD's guidance, even when I didn't like it. Because of you, I know how to seek GOD's face and wisdom and make the hard decisions.
Thank you for that.
There is so much more to say, to take the time to post it all would be too long to read!
I rise up and call you Blessed!
My life is perfect with you in it.
I love you, mom!
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There is one other woman that I would like to pay tribute to on this day after Mother's Day. GOD put her in my life in the most unassuming of ways, as her employee....but HE, as always , had bigger plans.
Mama J,
I was put into the Workman family, by GOD's providence. He gave me a mom that is far beyond anything I could ever hope to deserve. But when HE then chose to separate us and allow her to carry out the things that HE called her too far away, He put you in my life. HE is so faithful.
My life in Abilene, and beyond is filled with memories of you. You continued to build upon the foundation that my mother had already laid and had begun to build. You encouraged when I needed encouraging, you loved when I needed loving, you lovingly chastised when that was needed. You rejoiced with me in my joys and successes!! You believed in me without a shadow of a doubt!
You have spent hours on your knees for me and I can never pay that back.
You taught me how to be free, and how to see what my dreams meant and how reach for them. You sat with me when I was in dispair and you waited patiently till I was ready to get up again, then you held out a hand and lifted me out.

Best of all, you brought me into your family and made me one of your own. Thank you for enriching my already wonderful life. I cannot imagine my life without you in it.

I am so blessed! I love you, Mama J!
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For the other mother's in my life, and you know who you are. Thank you for being living examples of what Mother's should be. Thank you for enveloping me and sharing your families with me. I look at each of you and see a beautiful woman. Better yet...GOD does!
Thank you!

Praise You through the storm

These are lyrics to how I am feeling! Matches my blog from yesterday. I love when there is a song to match my life!

Praise You in the Storm
Casting Crowns

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day

But once again,
I say "Amen"and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God
Who gives and takes away

Chorus:I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again

My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy fallsI
raise my hands and praise the God
Who gives and takes away

Chorus
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Waiting

I read an article the other day on the “Enormous Leisure of GOD.” The particular illustration was of the person Moses. He knew that he was the person who was supposed to free GOD’s people from their slavery, however while he was ready to go right then and free his brothers and sister’s from bondage. GOD had other plans. He sent him into the desert for 40 years to herd sheep!!

Now, think with me here. This man has been raised in the palace of the Pharaoh. Couldn’t GOD have chosen to use him then? I mean he had pretty good access as the adopted son of the princess. But though humanly this would have been ideal, GOD had a greater plan. A plan that took 40 years to bring about.

Why 40 years? To we as humans this seems like…well, almost half a lifetime. But in GOD’s mind 40 years was really nothing. The Bible says that to GOD a day is as a thousand years and a thousand years is as a day. For him 40 years is like a blink.

So what is my point here…..

Why am I so impatient? I am SO tired of waiting on the Lord. Yet at every turn and step I try to take that is what GOD is telling me to do. Over and over I hear…

“Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD”

“Wait here”

“Wait for HIS reply”

“Should I continue to wait, now that you are silent? Must I also remain silent?”

“for I am waiting for you, O LORD. You must answer for me, O Lord my GOD.”

“I waited patiently for the LORD to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry.”

“They have set an ambush for me. Fierce enemies are out there waiting, though I have done them no wrong, O LORD”

“You are my strength; I wait for you to rescue me, for you, O GOD, are my place of safety.”

“I wait quietly before GOD, for my hope is in him.”

“I wait quietly before GOD, for my salvation comes from him.”

“I am exhausted from crying for help; my throat is parched and dry. My eyes are swollen with weeping, waiting for my GOD to help me.”

“The LORD is wonderfully good to those who wait for him and seek him.”

“As for me, I look to the LORD for his help. I wait confidently for GOD to save me, and my GOD will certainly hear me”

“I will climb up into my watchtower now and wait to see what the LORD will say to me and how he will answer my complaint.”

“But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.”

I could go on and on. The Lord is asking me to TRUST… to WAIT.

Just to bring this to reality. This is not easy. In fact, frankly, it sucks! (for those of you who do not care for this word please pardon it…but it is how I feel!) It does! I realize that GOD has purpose and a plan for me and I would love for that purpose to be revealed right now.

Yet apparently I am still in the training process. Don’t you know that Moses was so glad for all those years of experience herding flocks of dumb sheep and the years in the desert with GOD, when he then had to herd a flock of GOD’s people!! I am sure there were many times that he wished he could go back to the desert and away from the purpose that GOD finally did reveal.

I am ready for things to happen NOW! But GOD is saying wait. As HE has never failed me yet, I am willing to obey. My prayer is that I learn what I need to learn, and am granted the grace and the patience to not step in front of GOD’s plan for my life. My desire is to serve and to glorify. Nothing more, nothing less.

God is not in a hurry. We are. We get down before God and pray, then we get up and say, “it is all done now,” and in the light of the glory of the “vision” we go and do the thing. But it is not real, and GOD has to take us into the valley and put us through fires and floods to batter us (read..our stubborn selves) into shape, until we get into the condition in which HE can trust us with the reality of HIS vision for us.

Waiting......
The End

Encouragement

God is so good, such an amazing provider!!

I was reading in Psalm 40 yesterday when I was out and about and in line waiting for something.

It starts in verse 1 with something that has encouraged me for a long time now
“I waited patiently for the LORD to help me, and HE turned to me and heard my cry...(skip down to vs 3b)…many will see what the LORD has done and be astounded…..(then skipping to vs 17a) As for me, I am poor and needy, but as for me the LORD is thinking about me right now.”

How cool is that!! The God of the UNIVERSE!! Not a saint or a priest or a pastor or any other man or woman that is made of the same sinful skin and bones that I am made of, but GOD is thinking of ME!

Jump back up to verse 16 of the same chapter. “But may all who search for you be filled with joy and gladness. May those who love your salvation repeatedly shout, “THE LORD IS GREAT!!”

Love you guys so much!!
AW

P.s. you know as a girl who is home alone...with a baseball game on one TV and the draft on another...cleaning and cooking....I am a fabulous pick for any man! Too bad for them I am not looking! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

Oh to be 5 again

Do you remember the sweet innocence of 5?

For the next 6 weeks I have the honor of watching a friend's son, while the school district where she works winds down to a close.
How exciting it is to be 5!!

For most of us....one does not have to worry over the loss of friendships, or the drama of the day, or how our bills are going to be paid, or if the tire on the car will last until the tax refund comes in. We don't worry about getting married, or if the right one will come along. Or if the price of gas will go so high we will be forced to ride our bike (that we don't have) everywhere.

No the life of a 5 year old consists of....
Excitement about going to wash a car and getting to sit there while the "monster hands" wipe all the dirt away.
Planning for days to go to the library to find books on mummies.
Being estatic about finding a roly-poly-oly on the sidewalk, and making an adventure out of finding more. ( 6!!! We found 6!!)
With a little imagination, spiderman can save the world, and one can fly like superman on top of someone's uplifted feet.
A cookie can make your whole day better.....
and All of life's problems can be solved with a hug, an ear rub, and a nap.

Oh to be 5 again!

HOPE REIGNS

My friend Lauren Chandler co-wrote the following song, and this song follows me everywhere!!

When I am down and sad, which I have been a lot lately, the TRUTH of this song comes to me. Sometimes it is the 1st verse, that just reminds me that HE is the Healer of my broken heart. Most of the time it is the last verse which I belt out as I cling to the TRUTH that to Righteousness I am enslaved, and in so being, FREEDOM is now my song!! To my Lover I now belong!!

Today, is the second verse that speaks to me. "BLAMELESS ONE who took MY place." I am overwhelmed with that fact today. I am unworthy, yet my price has been paid for!
HOPE REIGNS!!

GLORY TO OUR KING
Hallelujah Glory to Our King
Hallelujah You are everything
Hallelujah Now the Blind can see
Hallelujah Glory to our King.

Glory to our King, Glory to our King

Healer of our broken hearts,
Forgiver of our path so dark,
You opened eyes that once were blind
On my darkness you shed light

Blameless ONE who took my place
Redeeming LOVE sweeps me away
Spotless bride I have become
Because of your redeeming blood

Hallelujah Glory to Our King
Hallelujah You are everything
Hallelujah I have been Redeemed
Hallelujah Glory to our King.

Worthy You are Worthy

Master taking off my chains
Now to Righteousness enslaved
Freedom has become my song
To my LOVER I belong

Hallelujah Glory to Our King
Hallelujah You are everything
Hallelujah now this Slaves set free!
Hallelujah Glory to our King.

THE PROMISE

Today sadness overwhelms.
Because I stood up for myself....
I have been punished.
Because I did what was right...
I have been wronged.
My heart aches for what I loved.....still love.

Wounded, I am broken.
For what I do not know.
I will not go back for another slap.
I will not give in to the pain.
I will learn to let go of what is hurting me.

All I want is to go back in time.
To change what cannot be changed.
Yet what could I have done.
How could I have done more than tell the Truth?
How more could I have sacrificed of my time and emotion.

Forgiveness reigns.
It is only in forgiving that I can be healed.
I want to be whole again.
Want to know that I have worth.
I am set free by THE PROMISE.

I am promised that I will be declared a liar;
When all I stood for was truth.
I am promised that my road will be sorrowful;
Though all that I hoped for was joy.
I am promised that I will be mocked and ridiculed;
When all I gave was hope and encouragement.

HIS Grace will be sufficient;
when I am in need.
HIS mercy will be renewed;
when I wake up.
HIS arms will hold me;
when I am tired.
HIS presence will be there;
when I am alone.
HIS joy will be unspeakable;
when I am sad.
HIS peace will be indescribable;
when I am overwrought.
HIS love will be my anchor;
when I am tossed and thrown in the waves.

That is THE PROMISE.

Butterflies

A few sweet shots from a recent butterfly shooting expedition.
Click this link to view more.
Enjoy!
AW

There's always time for coffee with a friend

I found this story in another person's blog, and thought it fitting for where I am right now. I have taken the time this week to make some phone calls and have a cuppa with a friend or two. It did not take away from who I was, or any of my priorities. Instead it set my priorities straight. I got to catch up with friends, encourage them in their journey, be encouraged in mine. Yes there is always a bunch of "sand" that can fill up my life, but only if I let it. If I let God be in control and where my focus lies, everything lines up from "golf balls to coffee"

Thanks for being a part of my life. Get in touch with me this week, leave a comment, send an email. I would love to hear from you.

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When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the coffee...professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things --- your God, your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions --- things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.

The sand is everything else- the small stuff.

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal."

Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

“One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

The Real Me

words and music by Natalie Grant
Photo by me


foolish heart looks like we're here again
same old game of plastic smile
don't let anybody in
hiding my heartache,
will this glass house break
how much will they take before i'm EMPTY
do i even let it show, does anybody know?

but YOU see the real me
hiding in my skin,
broken from within
unveil me completely
i'm loosening my grasp
there's no need to mask my frailty
cause you see the real me

painted on,
life is behind the mask
self-inflicted circus clown
i'm tired of the song and dance
living a charade,
always on parade
what a mess i've made of my existence
but you love me even now
and still i see somehow

that YOU see the real me
hiding in my skin,
broken from within
unveil me completely
i'm loosening my grasp
there's no need to mask my frailty
cause you see the real me

wonderful,
beautiful
is what YOU see
when YOU look at me
YOU're turning the tattered fabric of my life
into a perfect tapestry
i just wanna be me

and you love me just as i am

What God showed me this morning.....

I am reading through I Kings. I love the old testiment once you get past all the laws and begats. :) With all that has been going on in my life, I have been crying out to God, waiting for a big booming voice to answer....

Elijah has just totally owned the prophets of Baal by pouring water all over his sacrifice and having it consumed by fire. He has had one victory after the other....mountain tops if you will....then he gets word that Jezebel wants to kill him and he cowers, runs, and hides.

God finds him hiding in a cave (not that God had to look HE knew right where he was) and said "What are you doing hiding in this cave?" (amanda's paraphrase) to which Elijah answered, "No body likes me, every body hates me, guess I'll go eat worms....all I did was do what YOU told me too God." (again amanda's paraphrase) Then God says go stand out there on the mountain I've got something to say.....

I Kings 19:11, 12 " A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before GOD, but GOD wasn't to be found in the wind; after the wind an earthquake, but GOD wasn't in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but GOD wasn't in the fire; and after the fire a gentle and quiet whisper.

My storms have come and gone, now I quietly wait for a whisper.

Top 10 Reasons to Love me

I had to do this exercise for a book I am reading and was amazed at how difficult it can be to come up with 10. As we are told to be humble all of our lives, sometimes we miss out on the one person that is truely special in our lives....ourselves! God made us! He LOVES us! and here are 10 reasons why we should love us too! I challenge you to make 10 for yourself. You will be laughing at the end.

(BTW, YES I realize there are more than 10....ha ha ha Humility is one of them!)

10. I am a generally happy person and will do anything within reason to make you the same.
9. I am loyal to a fault, will love you back fiercely and never let you down on purpose
8. All great things begin with the letter "A"
7. I see beauty all around me...even when it is hard
6. I cook a mean pan of brownies!
5. I love to cuddle
4. I will be honest with you even if it is going to hurt me
3. I seek to know all the words to your life song and sing them back to you when you lose direction.
2. I believe in helping you find and accomplish your dreams
1. and the number one reason to love me.....well...I am Amanda!

Brooke outdid me

Of course....So I came up with a few more....
I once had all my friends convinced I was addicted to Asprin
I have an entire dance to the song "Have Mercy" by the Judds
I charged my parents to see me in concert.in their OWN living room.
I had a "Hundred Acre Woods" on a 3 acre property
After my 1st kiss I said "Yuck don't ever do that again"
Every time I spend time with my friend Brooke I get a full ab workout from laughing so hard!!

*****************************************************************************
BTW...these were her 6 things...how could I possibly even try to beat these?!
Once my arm was swallowed by a mad pelican.
My best friend threw up because I was so ugly.
Scott put dog food between the cheese and cracker and then fed it to me.
George W. Bush waved at me Monday morning.
In college, I tried to return laundry detergent for cash.
I went on a blind date for Sarah Underwood once and told him I was her--she didn't know.

Weird things about me

Weird Things About Me
(yes I do realize there are more than 6, but this posting only called for 6.)

1. I love a package of new white ankle socks, so soft and clean. YUM!
2. I have never sucked my thumb or a pacifier or needed a blankie, but I DO suck on the roof of my mouth and twirl my hair.
3. I have to sleep with a pillow under my head and on either side of me.
4. I hate peanuts, but LOVE peanut butter.
5. I cannot handle it when people cut their fingernails in front of me….it is like scraping their nails on a chalkboard, I come unglued!
6. When I am deathly ill, rather than being in bed I would rather sleep outside. I believe the fresh air and sun heals.

Sad

Last year it was a beautiful spring day and I was on my way home from Abilene where I had been for Easter. I remember clearly at what point in the journey that I was when my phone rang. It was my friend Candy telling me that our friend Karen’s mom had lost her battle with cancer.

I remember being sad.
I was sad for Karen, she was so close to her mom and I had watched from a distance as she LOVED her mom through those last few months. I didn’t really know Karen well, but I knew she was beautiful and I wanted to remember her example.

A week later, I would get another phone call. Another mother of one I held dear was in a fatal car accident. Another funeral. More grief. Another soul that God wanted, so we would have to give up for now. I did not know this beautiful woman, but she was dear to those who were dear to me and I was sad.

A few short days later, I got the phone call I had been dreading. Mrs. Virginia Moreno, my instructor’s mom, finally lost her battle with cancer and went home to be with Jesus. This time I knew her. I was sad, heart hurting, God questioning, sad. Why would God take this woman, she was so beautiful and so full of life. I mourned that day, and have mourned many days since. The 1st testing at our school without her there….the 1st tournament that she wasn’t ringside…..the day I got my black belt, she was one of the few that I longed to be there that wasn’t. I didn’t know her very long but I loved her!

The common thread here, was that in 3 short weeks we had 3 funerals. A family rose up from the ashes of that mourning and became strong. For me it was a place where finally I could call home.

Today was a similar type of funeral feeling. I AM SAD! I feel as though I have lost a part of me that I can never have back. I have lost a Tae kwon do school, a man I counted among my friends, families that I love to be a part of, a part of my life that was for me so very sacred and dear. I have lost a home.

My heart is hurting. I have lost……. I am lost. What could I have done that might have changed things?

I weep as I sit here, and mourn for what might have been. I mourn for a family I have lost.

Why? What did I do to deserve how I feel? I loved, I was loyal, I was faithful, and I am now betrayed.

I am sad, heart hurting, not sleeping, tears of sorrow……sad.

Writer's urge

Fresh sheet of paper
Pen in hand.
Can’t resist the urge.
Pen hovers, words suspended
The World awaits.

me

Sometimes I am deep and sometimes I am shallow...either way...I am still me.

I put words up for others to read...if you like them say so...if you don't that is fine too...they are still my words....still my feelings....still me.

Tried and true

My mom sent me this....and in light of my life since November....I think it might just apply to me. Also just a side note that you will understand after having read this...."Tis so sweet" is one of my favorite songs I sing it all the time.

Tried and True
Betsy Childs

I've often been asked the question, "Why does God test us?" This is a natural thing to ask, whether prompted by the biblical story of Abraham and Isaac or a personal test facing the questioner. "Doesn't God know everything already?" we wonder. "If so, why would He need to test us?" Consider, first of all, that when God tests us, it is not for the purposes of his own knowledge, but for our knowledge and the knowledge of the one whom the Bible refers to as "the Accuser of the brethren."

We see this in the book of Job; Satan accused Job of only serving God because God allowed him to prosper. God removed the hedge of protection He had put around Job to prove his accuser wrong. After the test, not only did Satan know that Job's faith was grounded in more than God's blessing, Job knew it also.

The testing of God became more understandable to me when I realized that one of the synonyms for "to test" is "to prove." God doesn't test us to see if we will fail. He tests us when He knows that we can succeed; He tests us in order to prove us. Imagine that you've built a table. As you show your handiwork to your friend, he casts doubt on the sturdiness of the table. You know that the table is sturdy because you made it. To prove it to your friend, you sit on top of it, demonstrating that it can hold your weight. You are not testing the table because you have a question about its sturdiness; rather, you are testing it to prove its sturdiness to the doubter.

Still, sometimes it is hard to see where the kindness of God fits into his testing. I believe the key to this is understanding that any time God tests us, He is issuing an invitation for us to test Him. God doesn't want us to try to weather life's trials in our own strength. A prime example of this is the test Paul and his companions experienced in Asia. As he describes it, "We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us" (2 Corinthians 1:8b-10).

In other words, they came to a test, felt that their strength would fail, and were compelled to rely upon God. And God proved Himself equal to their need. Here is another promise God gives for any test we face: "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it" (1 Corinthians 10:13).
This doesn't mean that when we feel like we can't bear a temptation, God must be giving us the go-ahead. It means that when temptation threatens to overcome us, we must test God by looking for the way out that He has provided. It will always be there if we look for it.

The words of the familiar hymn "'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus" were written by a woman named Louisa Stead. Stead and her four-year old daughter lost their husband and father when he drowned off Long Island trying to rescue a little boy. Years after this severe trial, Louisa Stead recognized that God was the one who had repeatedly passed the test by being faithful to her; she was able to write, "Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him/ How I've proved him o'er and o'er." If, when we are tested, we respond by testing and proving the faithfulness of God, taking Him at his word, we will be able to say confidently with Job, "When he has tested me, I will come forth as gold."

Changing

If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we are not really living. Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.
– Gail Sheehy

Valley's and Promises

I have just come out of a wonderful weekend! A weekend of getting away! Here is what I came away with.....
The Lord promises us Mountaintops....where we will commune with Him and life could not be better....and He promises that we will have valleys....days when we feel we cannot go on one more step....
However....PRAISE THE LORD! It takes two mountain tops to make a valley....the PROMISE....with God there will always be more Mountain tops than valleys.
I was able to spend some sweet reunion time with several of my friends. Three of them where my dear friends The Martins (http://www.the-martins.com/). They were in concert this weekend...and sang one of my favorites...here are the lyrics.


THE PROMISE
I never said that I would give you silver or gold.
Or that you would never feel the fire or shiver in cold…
But I did say "You would never walk through this world alone."
And I did say." Don't make this world your home"

I never said that fear wouldn't find you in the night,
Or that loneliness was something you'd never have to fight
But I did say "I'd be right there by your side"
And I did say "I'll always help you fight."

Cause you know I made a Promise that I intend to keep
My Grace will be sufficient in every time of need…
My love will be the anchor that you can hold on to…
This is the Promise I've made to you.

I never said that friends would never turn their backs on you
Or that the world around you wouldn't see you as fool
But I did say "Like me, you'll surely be despised"
And I did say "My ways confound the wise."

I didn't say that you'd never taste the bitter kiss of death
Or have to walk through chilly Jordan to enter into rest
But I did say I'd be waiting right on the other side.
And I did say I'll dry every tear you've cried.

Cause you know I made Promise that I've prepared a place
And someday sooner than you think you'll see me face to face
And you'll sing with the angels and a countless multitude.
This is the Promise, this is the Promise I've made to you.

So just keep on walking, don't turn to the left or right
And in the midst of darkness, let this be your light
That hell can't separate us and your gonna make it through
This is the Promise, this is the Promise....I've made to you.

What if I had never met you?

What if I never met you?
While recently watching a rerun of a show about 4 friends….one of the characters was leaving for a long time, and posed the very sentimental question. "What if I had never met you?" I having said so many hellos and good-byes in my life began to cry…and then I sat with my cup of decaf in hand, and thought……

What if I had never met you?
Who would I be today if my life as I remember it did not include you?
Would I wake up ready to face the day?
Would I be as happy?
Would I have cried so many tears?
Would I have prayed as many prayers?
Would I have laughed as loudly, or as long?
Would be able to sing like I do?
Would I be able to dance as carefree?
Would I care the way I do?
Would I be as tall?
Would I have a place to live?
Would I have traveled?
Would I know how to drive?
Would I know how to walk?
Would I know how to read?
Would I know how to write?
Would I know how to study?
Would I know how to work?
Would I know how to set a goal?
Would I have dreamed the dreams that I dream?
Would I have accomplished as much as I have accomplished so far?
Would I have seen the ocean or the desert?
Would I have seen the stars in the same way?
Would I look at the moon and see a man/a dragon and a rabbit?
Would I have self respect?
Would I appreciate art?
Would I be able to face a challenge?
Would I know how to use a camera?
Would I know how to look at a face and not see color?
Would I feel as loved?
Would I know how to love?
Would I have rejoiced in rejoicing?
Would I have praised God as often?
Would I know Jesus?
Would I know myself?
Would I have the ability that no matter where I am in the world, to be home?

I can think of a million more questions and shudder at the answers? My life would not be whole without you in it. If you are in my life…you make up part of me. To even begin to fathom a life without all that I have and all that I have had….no…I cannot. To begin to thank you for every memory….I cannot….Thank you is not enough.

Seriously Blessed

This should be posted dated 2/26/06 :)
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is as opposed to mildly blessed!
I have just spent the last week of my life inflicted with what is commonly known as the common cold.
When you have a cold you are seriously ill!
I just love it when people say "It is just a cold." Do you realize that this contagious viral infection of the upper respiratory tract is the most common infectious disease in the United States??
Just a cold they say.but do you realize that "just a cold" has about 5 hundred million billion remedies? Ok so that may be slightly "ministerialy speaking" as they say. But from the moment that I had the first symptom of sore throat I received more advice in a week, than I have received in over a year.
-drink hot liquids
-drink cold liquids
-eat
-starve
-gargle with salt water (who came up with this nasty remedy works unfortunately-but gross!)
-Vitamin C
-Citrus
-Rice Pudding with Cinnamon
- Nyquil from those who ironically don't believe in the drinking of alcohol
-Hot Toddy- from those that do! J
-Hot Showers to steam it out
- Stay indoors with all windows shut (yes so germs can recirculate, brilliant!)
-Go outside (soak in the sunmuch better idea)
-Don't drink milk (yes this is for real advise, but linked to a myth)
On and on and on and on it can go with one remedy totally discrediting the other. When, in reality.only time, naps, and lots of liquids can actually heal a cold.

But in the midst of my being pretty much homebound with this nasty infectious disease, I was able to gather up some incredible thoughts.
I AM BLESSED!! I mean not just in a generic thought that most people have, but SERIOUSLY blessed.
On an average day I..
-Wake up.blessing #1
-Eat..blessing #2
-freely read my Bible..Blessing#3
-check my email.blessing# 4
-feed my Myspace addictionblessing#5
-listen to music.Blessing #6
-have access to indoor plumbing facilitiesblessing #7
-talk to friends and family.-blessing#8
-am able to enjoy creation with all 5 of my sensesblessing #9
-breathe in and outblessing#10

On and On I could go..if you are in my life in any way, you are a part of my blessing. Thank you so much for being a part of what God has purposed for me! I look forward to the week ahead finding new mercy and a new blessing in every day.
Love you!

Faith of my Fathers

In the eyes of the world we are now adults. We have higher education, we have jobs, we own cars and sometimes houses, we have bills to pay and have completely full schedules. So where does faith fit in?
Faith of my Fathers
As children many of us were taken to church by our parents. In my family it was not an option, it was a way of life. I come from a ministry family. My grandfathers were both pastors, my uncle is a pastor, when I was born my parents were in the youth ministry until I was five and they felt the calling of God to go into mission work, and whisked me away to the mission field of Kenya, East Africa.. I have been in church since my first Sunday in the womb.
I came to know the Lord on a personal level when I was five years old in my parent's home. It was at that time that I knew that I was not going to heaven without Jesus in my heart and I told my mom I wanted to ask Him to come and live with me forever. I prayed and received the Lord that night and several weeks later I was baptized by my grandfather in his church.
Living on the mission field, I was very involved in my parent's ministry. I helped teach children's classes, took offering, passed out song books, and rang the bell to let the village know that it was time to come to church! On into my teen years I continued to share in their English ministry as I helped my mom with a Saturday kids club, sang in choir, participated in Christmas musicals and in general was a part of the every day ministry of a church planting family.
When I returned to the United States, off I went to Bible college where again I did what any proper missionary child should do and quickly became involved in a local church ministry and participated in worship teams and evangelical efforts. The Lord led me from there to another fine Christian university where I was very involved in my local church.
All of this time, however, I was living underneath what I consider my parent's umbrella of faith. My parents were never the type to force one into ministry; yet, I naturally followed whatever I felt they wanted me to do. The same held true while at Bible College, I became involved in what I was involved in not because I sought out the Lord, but because that is what I felt was expected of me.
During my study at Hardin-Simmons University, I was given the wonderful opportunity to study for a semester in Hong Kong. It was here that I stepped out from under the faith of others and God began to teach me about growing in Him for myself.
Let it Rain
January 6, 2001, LA airport I was about to board a Cathay Pacific flight bound for Hong Kong. What in the world was I thinking? Yes, I grew up overseas, I had a passport with stamps from several different countries and cultures, but when I was there so were my parents. This time I was going at it alone.
The same held true for my faith. Up until this point my faith, though personal, was constructed of a foundation of my parents' faith, with some shaky walls built up from a walk of faith that others expected of me which was not really a true walk at all. Now I as stepped on this plane excitedly nervous about what I would find on the other side, I realized that my spiritual support would not be there this time, I was going to have to find out who Jesus was on my own.
As the plane gained momentum and I felt the pull of gravity push me back into chair, it was in that moment I left behind the security of the faith of my father, and embarked on a faith finding mission of my own. The next eight months would prove to be fun, happy, sad, long, short, easy, hard, exhausting and exhilarating! Yet they would prove to be full of adventure after adventure, a time when God showed up on a daily basis to rain down his blessings onto my life, a time where I began to find my own faith and to build upon the foundation laid for me by my father.
The Hectic Life
I know what all of you are thinking, "That was a beautiful story, but Amanda perhaps you don't remember what kind of a rat race we live in. Perhaps you don't understand how hard it is to find time to build my faith and grow in the Lord." Oh, but I do. When I returned from Hong Kong, I began working three jobs, going to school full time, was involved at church, at a local interdominational bible study, and was involved in a business organization at school; I owned a car, a house, attempted to have a social life and averaged around five hours of sleep a night if I was lucky. Trust me I know about the rat race! Yet, something that God had taught me while in Hong Kong held true here in the United States. Without Him I am nothing. I am just an empty shell. Yes this empty shell can get up and go to class every day and then head of to work, pay bills, go out with friends, watch movies, even be involved in ministries working for Him, but without prioritizing my time to seek His face and allow Him to fill me with His love, I am nothing.
The Journey Continues. Here I am, several years out of college, currently facing the single life again, have been jobless for three months, have a nasty cold today, blah, blah. Yet, I can say that the faith that began on that plan five years ago has grown. Each step of the way God was stretching my faith, teaching me to lean into Him when I did not understand a thing that is going on. I could go on have a pity party and most looking at my situation would understand. However, let me put this in perspective, yesterday I talked to a single mom who is facing the fact that her two year old may have leukemia; my mom emailed me this morning that a pastor friend in Botswana just lost an infant to an unknown illness and his toddler was in the hospital; my friend's ex father-in-law is in the hospital having suffered a heart attack after finding out that his 27 year old son was found dead in his apartment. I do not have the luxury of a pity party. I have a responsibility to hold high the faith that God has so firmly rooted in me and show the Hope that lives within me. MY GOD IS FAITHFUL! I am provided for and loved and pursuedHe is FAITHFUL!
The faith of my fathers, a faith that may not look the same on the shallow exterior of denominational walls, or on the miry ground of this generation versus that generation; but a faith that is timeless, rooted in the single fact that my Father loved me so much that he chose to have His ONLY Son crucified, so that I could spend eternity with Him. A faith that represents a love that pursues me every day of my life, even when I "forget".
My Challenge to You
As singles we have an amazing opportunity to control our lives, more so than at any other time. Yes, we have to go to work, and for some of us we have to go to school, there are some definite controlling factors in our lives. Yet, right now we don't have to answer to anyone but ourselves and God about the things we do daily. We choose what our schedules look like; we have the choice to prioritize our lives how we want to prioritize them. Yes, we are in a rat race running right along with the millions of others who are running, however, at the end of the day we do not have to work our free time schedules around a spouse or a significant other or children. We can choose to spend time with the Lord allowing Him to grow us and to fill our empty shells, to make us into the single being that He wants us to be.
I challenge you to pull out your day planner, or your blackberry or whatever you use to plan out your day, and to rearrange a little, set some time apart for you and the Lord on a daily basis. Take a step of faith outside the umbrella you have been standing under all these years and find the glorious satisfaction in letting God rain down on you faith anew and fresh and best of all truly yours.

Where is my focus?

This morning I spent some time in I Samuel, and it brought to mind the same thoughts that I had when I read it several years ago. The following is something that I wrote a couple of years ago when I was struggling within my singleness and trying to get all of my thoughts out. I had to answer for myself the question of “Where is my focus?” I pick here about the middle of the chapter I wrote.

First of all, if our passion is Christ then our focus should be only on Him. 24-7-365, our focus should be on the upward, focusing on God. That is not to say that we should become so enraptured with the things of the Lord that we lose sight of what is going on around us. To the converse, when our vision is totally and completely fixated on the Lord and does not waver, the rest of what is going on around us falls into place as He would have it too. When my eyes are focused on the Lord, my relationships whether they be with myself, my family, my friends, my acquaintances, my co-workers, or the opposite sex all fall into the place that God wants them to be. I do not have to fret and worry myself sick, keep myself up at night pondering about this situation or another; when my focus is on the Lord the rest of my life will be where it is supposed to be.
This brings an answer then to the question, “What has He called me to do?” He has called me to focus on Him. Period. THE END! My ministry, my calling, my everything will rise out of that simple truth.
In scripture, King David is an amazing example of this. God spoke to David through the prophet Samuel and let him know that He was going to be king of Israel. David at the time was a wee shepherd boy, last in a line of big strong just as qualified if not more qualified older brothers. Not only that, but there was already a king on the throne.
So what did David do, he took his sword and shield, gathered up a band of brothers and a few close friends and began a strategic takeover of King Saul. Um…NEGATIVE!!
David stayed in the fields tending sheep. He acknowledged that God had a direct plan for him and so he set his focus on the Lord and did not let it waver. Later he would become a servant of King Saul and best friend to the king’s son. Still he did not promenade around the king’s court declaring that he had it on good authority that he would one day sit on the throne of his current boss. Instead he humbly ministered to the king with songs that the Lord put in his heart, he went to battle for the king, and even after the king turns against him and tries in vain to kill him, he spares the life of the king two times.
As we read through all of I & II Samuel and through the Psalms we see David’s life; we see happy times and sad, we see struggles and victory, we see him fall into sin and repent. Through it all we see a man whose vision was focused on the Lord, whose passion was the Lord. Because of this, the events of David’s life fell into place as God intended, with God’s perfect timing and guidance. His ministry and callings changed several times starting as a shepherd, becoming a servant and a soldier, and finally becoming a ruler of God’s chosen people, and a direct ancestor to the King of Kings; however, his passion never changed. God not only honored him by making this small shepherd boy a king, he gave him double honor by declaring him a “Man after God’s own Heart.”
So what is your passion? Can you with a pure heart give the answer of “God.”? Or is your passion focused on what you feel you are called to out of some sort of guilt lead duty? Maybe you don’t have a passion? My challenge to you is to spend some time seeking God’s passion. Spend some time alone with Him, ASK Him, and then WAIT for His answer.